


Wanna bet?

by StarsMadeinHeaven



Category: South Park
Genre: Bets, Boys Being Boys, M/M, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:00:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsMadeinHeaven/pseuds/StarsMadeinHeaven
Summary: Sometimes you fall in love under the most ridiculous circumstances. In Kyle and Kenny's case it all starts because of Cartman's stupid bets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 2K inspires me greatly. I don't even know why! It's a really silly fic, all things considered, but I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do writing it.

### Wanna bet? 

“Five bucks you won’t eat that”. 

Stan heaved a sigh of frustration when Eric Cartman suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pointed at the half-eaten sandwich splattered on the floor next to what probably was a puddle of dog’s pee. Besides him Kyle and Kenny stopped to look at the sandwich in question; one rolled his eyes to the sky, the latter appeared to seriously consider accepting the bet. There we go, Stan thought and prayed for the best. 

“No!” Kyle exclaimed, when Kenny bent down to pick the nauseating remains of the sandwich up. As Stan expected, Cartman was beaming. “Gross, dude! That’s just gross! _Stan_!” 

“What?” Stan replied snapping his head at Kyle, trying not to look as interested in Kenny’s act of dumb courage as he actually was. The sandwich in Kenny’s hands was much gooier than Stan first supposed, moldy, and it strongly smelt rotten. Would Kenny seriously eat that?

“Do something!” Kyle reproached him, but it was already too late. Kyle’s nose scrunched up in disgust when Kenny gulped the two half-munched slices of bread and the sorry excuse for ham that was inside them in one go. “I’m gonna puke,” Kyle muttered. 

“Sweet,” Cartman chuckled. Under Kyle’s appalled glare, he reached for his back pocket and handed Kenny his well-earned five bucks. 

“Why do you keep doing that?” Kyle bellowed at Kenny, who wiped his sullied hands on the front of his tattered parka before taking the money. Stan shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly took a step away from Kyle’s line of vision; if Kyle was up for a fight, Stan didn’t want to have anything to do with it. 

When Kenny didn’t dignify him with an answer, Kyle knitted his brows in exasperation and glared at Cartman instead, who just shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Can we go now?” Stan asked, realizing a little bit too late that, if he really didn’t want to be part of this, he should have kept his mouth tightly shut. Kyle’s eyes were immediately on him, and Stan averted his gaze, focusing it on a point in front of him, past Kenny’s parka and Cartman’s amused grin. “We are going to miss the previews,” Stan continued. He might very well keep talking at this point. 

“Yes, Kyle, stop being a pussy and let’s go,” Cartman groaned, and oh, boy, if looks could kill. 

“I’m sick and tired of your crap, fatass!” Kyle exclaimed. “That was fucking disgusting! There was _pee_ right next to it!” Stan would have laughed at Kyle’s whining voice if he didn’t think it would draw his best friend’s attention to him. “And you! Dude, gross!” Kyle cried out waving his hand up and down at Kenny. 

“That was child’s play,” Kenny muttered, and if it was not that big of deal for him, Stan didn’t understand why it was a catastrophe in Kyle’s eyes. Sure, he was grossed out by pee, but Kyle wasn’t the one who accepted the bet in the first place. Kenny did, and Kenny was a grown man who knew when to back down. 

“Why do you do everything that Cartman dares you to?” Kyle pried. At that Cartman rolled his eyes to the sky and kept walking. Kenny followed with a shrug and, after shooting a worried look at Kyle’s quirked lips, Stan did too. 

“Would you eat your own shit if Cartman wants you to?” Kyle continued walking behind them. 

“If he pays me to,” Kenny muttered behind his parka. 

“Good one, Kyle! I didn’t think of that!” Cartman exclaimed, eagerly. “Ten bucks you won’t eat your own shit, Kenny!” 

“That wasn’t a bet!” Kyle screeched. 

“Dude, would you do that, for real?” Stan asked, fascinated by Kenny’s shamelessness. He felt Kyle’s enraged stare pierce the back of his neck, but he didn’t dare to glance behind his shoulder to check. He kept walking. 

“For fuck’s sake, Kahl!” Cartman whined, because he, contrary to Stan, _did_ glance behind his shoulder to check and came face to face with Kyle’s certified look of pure disapproval, the one he had inherited from his mother and made even the bravest man on Earth tuck tail and run. There was a reason why Stan didn’t look at Kyle, but it seemed Cartman didn’t know when to shut up. “Kenny doesn’t mind so you shouldn’t either. I bet you’re just jelly you’re not profiting yourself! What? Do you resent Kenny for having five bucks more in his pocket than you do, you stingy Jew?” 

“What the fuck, Cartman,” Kyle spat, voice escalating at every word. “Do you think is okay to make Kenny do all these disg-!” 

“Jesus Christ!” Cartman shouted, interrupting him. “Kenny, I bet ten, no fifteen bucks you won’t manage to shut Kyle up!” 

“You son of a-!”

Stan stared in awe as Kenny suddenly turned on his heels, grabbed Kyle by the front of his orange jacket and slammed their mouths together. Cartman’s eyes were wide in shock, but nothing compared to the horrified look on Kyle’s face. Kenny finally let go of him a minute later, resembling the infamous cat that got the cream, and Stan was too baffled to do other than stare at Kyle’s petrified body. His arms were lowered down to his side, stiff as wooden boards, and only his fingers twitched every five seconds, as if he had just undergone an electroconvulsive therapy session. Not even Cartman’s roar of laughter managed to get a reaction out of Kyle. Kenny stretched his hand towards Cartman, and the latter wiped a tear away from his eyes before he reached out for his back pocket and shoved fifteen bucks in Kenny’s open palm. 

“You’re such a fag, Kenny,” Cartman commented. 

Stan expected Kyle to shout, punch Cartman and Kenny in the face, but he did nothing. Cartman patted Kenny on the back and the two continued walking as if nothing had happened, while Stan remained behind, waving his hand in front of Kyle’s face to make sure he was still breathing. Fortunately, he was. 

“Dude?” Stan called, unsure, and the tension in Kyle’s shoulders slowly melted away. His friend’s lips curled into a disgusted scowl, and Stan could almost hear the thoughts crossing Kyle’s mind. Kyle, however, kept his mouth shut and the two of them wordlessly picked up the pace to join the rest of their small group. By the time the four reach the movie theater, Kyle was back to normal again. He didn’t mention Kenny’s sudden attack on his mouth, and Stan was just grateful that they could finally enjoy the previews in peace. 

Stan should have predicted that Cartman would get off on Kyle’s humiliation. He should have predicted that Cartman would turn his silly but disgusting bets with Kenny into something that could destroy Kyle’s integrity. Suddenly, seeing Kenny lick the bathroom stalls for ten bucks was not as appealing as using him to rile Kyle’s up. Stan should have read between the lines whenever Cartman stared at Kyle a little longer than necessary, a pensive look in his small eyes. The quirk of his lips whenever he thought of something Kenny might do for his own amusement was his warning flag. Stan should have seen, but he didn’t want Cartman to sic Kenny on him in school. He wouldn’t stand everybody’s eyes on him if he did. If Cartman decided to dare Kenny to kiss Stan’s ass, what would Wendy say? Kyle was far better than him with dicey situations. If Kyle punched either Cartman or Kenny in the jaw, no one in the school would actually think it was weird. So Stan opted to turn a blind eye to the foretelling signs. 

Was he a shitty friend? 

Stan didn’t think he was until Cartman decided to put his plans into action. 

Kyle was strangely calm that morning, when Stan, Cartman and Kenny walked over to him while he fiddled with the contents of his locker. It should have been Stan’s clue that things would soon take a turn for the worse. Cartman could be very creative when Kyle was in a good mood, but Stan once again ignored his gut’s instinct.

“Hey, dude,” Stan greeted his friend. “Did you do that essay on Napoleon? I kind fell asleep watching the History Channel and I missed some points”. 

“Were you going to use that crap the History Channel was saying in the essay?” Kyle asked, amused. “Do you remember what happened last time?” 

“Not everyone pulls an all-nighter to write a fucking essay on Napoleon,” Cartman said. “Stan is not a fucking nerd like you, Kyle”. 

“Oh, no, you donkey-fucker,” Kyle said shifting his eyes to Cartman. “I’m not gonna take that bait. You are not going to get me riled up, not today”. 

“I’m just speaking the truth here,” Cartman said, sounding too innocent for Stan’s tastes. 

“You seem to be in really good spirits today,” Stan said, trying to change subject. He inwardly let out a sigh of relief when Kyle focused on him. “What’s up?” 

“I’m going out with Bebe after school,” Kyle confessed with a smile, and Kenny gave a low whistle of appreciation. 

“Bebe, the slut?” Cartman asked, and Kenny mumbled something obscene next to him that made them both laugh. Kyle, though, didn’t pay any attention to them and just kept his eyes on Stan. The raven haired boy was thankful that Kyle was determined not to let Cartman ruin his day. 

“Great, man,” Stan congratulated him patting him on the back. It’s been months since Wendy suggested that Bebe and Kyle should start dating so that they could finally go on double dates together. Nevertheless, Bebe hesitated. Some weeks before, Stan overheard her conversation with Wendy, during which she practically worshipped Kyle’s ass. No matter how cute Bebe thought Kyle was, she wasn’t sure if she would actually like to be Kyle’s girlfriend, which Stan found odd, all things considering. There was nothing wrong with his best friend, was it? Whatever the case, it seemed that Bebe made up her mind, and Wendy would finally give Stan a break and stop bitching about double dates for a while. 

“That’s right, Stan,” Kyle said, pushing Stan out of his thoughts, “and nothing can put me in a bad mood today. Not even you, Cartman!” Kyle exclaimed pointing an accusing finger at him. Cartman scoffed; his eyes drifted to a point at the end of the hall, and Stan followed his eye movement, spotting no other than Bebe walking with Annie and Red to their first class. 

“Kenny, I bet ten bucks that not even you can manage to spoil Kyle’s oh-so great mood,” Cartman said. Kyle narrowed his eyes at Kenny. 

“Don’t you dare,” Kyle threatened him. Bebe was just a few feet away from them, but when Stan turned around to warn Kyle not to do anything stupid, Kenny had already made his move. Stan watched Kenny’s hand shot out to grab Kyle’s ass, and his eyes immediately flickered up to Kyle’s shocked face. Bebe’s high heels stopped echoing in the hall the moment Kyle’s fist found Kenny’s jaw. The loud crack was almost deafening, and if Bebe hadn’t paid any attention to them, she was now. 

“Oh, man,” Stan muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Cartman burst out laughing when Kenny was sent flying across the floor. 

“Kyle Broflovski!” a professor passing by just in that moment barked out. Cartman was literally rolling on the floor laughing, and Stan decided to do the next most sensible thing and helped Kenny on his feet. “To the principal’s office, now!” 

“Oh, man,” Kyle swore under his breath and shot an angry look at Kenny’s bloodied nose. “Enjoy your money, you traitor,” Kyle spat on his way to the principal, followed by a very disappointed professor. 

“Did you see that?” Cartman asked the students that had gathered around them. “That was so sweet! I’m seriously, you guys. I wished I had a camera!” 

“Kenny, what did you do that for?” Stan whispered to his friend. His blue eyes followed Kenny’s hand swiftly wipe the blood from under his nostrils, and his heart skipped a beat when Kenny raised his head and grinned at him. 

“The easiest ten bucks of my life,” Kenny whispered back. “Twenty more and I’ll be able to buy a Christmas present for my brother and sister with Cartman’s savings”. 

Stan’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ at that. He thought of telling Kenny that indulging Cartman and pissing off Kyle wasn’t worth the trouble, but seeing the pleased smile slowly stretch on Kenny’s lips made Stan wonder if he should turn a blind eye to this one too. 

Stan sure was a shitty friend. 

Later at lunch break, Stan realized that he should definitely put an end to that madness. The four plus Butters sat down at their usual table surrounded by awkward silence. Only Cartman seemed immune to it and kept munching happily on his burger in his place between Stan and Butters, sending delighted glances at Kenny and Kyle sitting next to each other across the table. Kyle was unusually silent, picking at his food with his fork while he held his face with his free hand. Kenny was sporting a nice bluish blotch on his jaw. Stan had lost all appetite, and only Butters, who had not witnessed what happened earlier in the morning, seemed in the mood for idle conversation. 

“Hey, did you know, fellas, that Clyde was asked out by Bebe this morning? It sure happened out of the blue, don’t you think?” Butters asked between mouthfuls. Only Stan noticed the sullen look flashing on Kyle’s face at Butter’s words. 

“It seemed that the slut moved on pretty fast, didn’t she, Kyle?” Cartman asked. Kyle’s left eyebrow twitched at Cartman’s jab. 

“Would you shut up?” Kyle snapped, slamming his fork down, making two lettuce leaves fly out of his plate and onto the table. Butter’s eyes shifted from Cartman to Kyle and then back to Cartman again.

“Oh, moody aren’t we?” Cartman sneered and bit down on the last chunk of his hamburger. Neither Stan nor Kyle missed the eloquent way Cartman looked at Kenny.

“Don’t,” Stan warned, not sure if he was referring to Kenny or Cartman or even Kyle at that point. 

“Whatever you’ll make Kenny do, I won’t react, fatso,” Kyle said. “I won’t give you this pleasure, you hear me?” 

Judging by the way Cartman’s eyebrow shot up, Stan supposed he had. 

“Are we playing some kind of game?” Butters asked, intrigued. 

“Kenny, I’ll give you ten juicy bucks if you manage to make Kyle mad. I don’t care what you’ll do, make him whimper”. 

“I won’t!” Kyle exclaimed, and Stan didn’t like the smirk on Kenny’s face. 

For a few moments nothing happened. Stan stared at Kenny, but the blond just stared back at him, not moving an inch. Stan had to drift his gaze on Kyle to realize that something was indeed happening. Cartman was as clueless as he was, until the two of them noticed that Kenny had slid his hand under the table when they weren’t looking. Stan didn’t want to check, but in that moment he knew where Kenny’s hand was. 

Kyle remained completely impassive at first. His lips twitched in annoyance, but he held still. Stan could only imagine what Kenny was doing, but if he peeked under the table he would see Kenny’s hand move up and down Kyle’s right leg. He would see Kenny’s fingers trail a path from Kyle’s knee up to his tight. He would see Kenny’s thumb trace small circles on the patch of skin that divided his leg from his hip, move down, almost touch Kyle’s crotch over the denim, and rest there, teasingly. Stan didn’t see that, but he did notice Kyle’s face suddenly pale when Kenny’s hand came dangerously close to his private parts. 

Although Cartman didn’t see Kenny’s hand either, he was having a ball. He leaned over the table to study Kyle’s face better, waiting for him to crack, to slap Kenny’s across the face, anything. Kyle’s rapid breathing was their only clue he wasn’t enjoying this. His pupils were dilated, his lips a thin line. Stan wanted to congratulate him for not letting a single word of protest leave his lips. Kenny moved his hand again, maybe a little further up, and Stan noticed that Kyle was biting the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from shouting. 

“Dude, stop,” Stan pleaded. Cartman shushed him and just motioned Kenny to keep doing whatever he was doing. Next to him, Butters looked extremely uncomfortable. 

“Ten bucks, Kenny,” Cartman reminded him. “A whimper, Kyle, and game’s over. Just do it!” 

“Kenny, stop,” Stan ordered, harsher this time, and Kyle’s eyes moved from Cartman to him. For the slightest of moments, Kenny stilled. 

“Oh, hamburgers,” Butters mumbled. “This is not going to end well…”

Stan could see that Kyle wanted nothing more than punch Kenny again, but against all reason he didn’t want to give Cartman the victory either. In a stroke of genius, Stan reached out for his back pocket and slammed a ten dollars bill in front of Kenny’s face. Kyle let out a sigh of relief when Kenny grabbed the money with both hands, while Cartman just groaned in frustration. 

“Why Stan?” Cartman whined. 

“Because it was sick, dude,” Stan replied standing up. Kyle shot up from his place too and with his head hung low, he swiftly walked away from the cafeteria. 

“Should we go after him?” Butter asked. 

“It’s better if you leave him alone for a while,” Kenny said, and Stan didn’t like the implications of Kenny’s grin. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, my. Seriously, dude! I didn't expect this fic to get this kind of response! I want to thank each and every one of you for your lovely comments!! You guys are amazing, THANK YOU!

* * *

“I’m going to fight fire with fire!”

Stan massaged his eyes with his free hand while the other held the receiver close to his ear. He shot a longing glance at his half-finished dinner waiting for him at his seat on the table where the rest of his family was ingurgitating theirs. 

“Let it go, Kyle,” Stan tried to reason. “Tomorrow Cartman will find something else to torment us with. Moreover, Kenny didn’t piss you off on purpose, so there’s no reason to retaliate”. 

“I know Kenny is not doing it on purpose,” Kyle said, condescending. “But next time Cartman eggs him on and turns him against me because of some motherfucking bet, I’ll respond in kind”. 

“You already punched him once,” Stan said. “Do you want detention again?” 

“I wasn’t thinking of punching him,” Kyle replied, sounding incredibly insecure. Stan waited for his friend to say something, to reveal his plans, but Kyle kept unnaturally quiet. No plan then, just the unnecessary desire for vengeance. When Stan was ready to put an end to this silly conversation, Kyle finally spoke again: “I’ll figure it out”. 

Apparently Kyle had no idea what he was doing, but Stan doubted Kyle needed to do anything anyway. Cartman would get sick and tired of his disgusting bets in the long run, and Kenny would find something else to do to scrape some money together. Stan had to change his mind when, the next morning, after second period, he walked over to Kyle’s locker only to come face to face with the weirdest, most cringeworthy picture in the history of ever: Kyle leaning against his locker with Kenny standing over him. 

The blond teen had Kyle trapped, getting right into his personal space and placing a hand against the locker so that Kyle couldn’t escape. Cartman stood right behind Kenny, looking like a child on Christmas’ Eve, while the rest of the students scattered around the corridor, watching the strange scene unfolding before them in fascination. Stan had no idea what was going on, but judging by Kyle’s angered eyes looking straight into Kenny’s ones, he knew that nothing good was going to come out from this. Neither of them was talking, but Kenny’s amused smirk and Kyle’s determination spoke volumes. 

“Are the playing gay chicken or something?” Clyde asked suddenly standing next to him, and Stan shrugged. He knew as much as Clyde did. 

“I heard that Cartman dared Kenny to make Kyle speechless,” Token explained. 

“I-I think it was a bet,” Jimmy piped in, slowly walking towards them. “Something about twenty bucks to whoever made Kyle blush in e-e-embarrassment”. 

“It was just ten bucks,” Craig suddenly spoke. “Ten bucks to Kenny if he manages to turn Kyle into a puddle of goo, five if Kyle runs away”. 

“Jesus Christ,” Stan swore under his breath and massaged his temples. 

Kenny’s face was inches away from Kyle’s, but the redhead was not deterred in the least and faced Kenny head on, determined not to let whatever Kenny might say or do get under his skin. Stan knew that no insult could make Kyle speechless, let alone embarrassed –he was good with comebacks, after all- so he had no idea what Kenny would say to win the bet. The easier tactic would be to humiliate him, but there was nothing Kenny could do that Cartman hadn’t tried before. 

“You know what, Kyle?” Kenny asked suddenly. All whispering slowly shushed down, and everybody’s ears perked up. “Since I pinched your ass yesterday, I can’t stop fantasizing about you”. 

Fuck, Stan thought. So Kenny opted on that course of action? 

At Kenny’s comment, one of Kyle’s eyebrows shot up, although the rest of his face remained completely blank. Cartman, on the other hand, was now bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. All eyes shifted from Kenny to Kyle, waiting for some kind of retort. If Kyle kept his mouth shut or blushed, he would lose. 

“Oh, yeah?” Kyle breathed. He looked uncomfortable under Kenny’s stare, and his hands clenched into fists, only to relax a second later. 

“Yeah, Kyle,” Kenny slurred. “So what I have to do to be your booty call?” 

“More than this, for sure,” Kyle said, challengingly. Kenny snorted, a sound that told everyone just how much he was enjoying this, and Kyle too would have laughed if it weren’t for the seriousness of the situation. 

“Well, why don’t you try me once? If you don’t like it, you will have wasted six hours of your life. More, if you want foreplay,” Kenny tried again. Kyle licked his lip, thinking of a good comeback, and Kenny followed his tongue with his gaze. 

“I’ll doubt you’ll last that long,” Kyle spat, inadvertently backing up farther into the lockers. At his misstep, Kenny’s grin just grew wider, and Kyle tried to relax once more. In that moment, Stan noticed that Kyle’s gaze lingered on the bruise on Kenny’s jaw just a little longer than necessary.

“Why don’t we try tonight?” 

“Why not never?” Kyle spat on instinct, his eyebrows twitching in exasperation. Cartman snorted besides them, and Kyle narrowed his eyes at him. He stood a little bit straighter and faced Kenny head on again. 

“Cartman wants Kyle to blush, but I n-never saw Kyle blush in his life,” Jimmy whispered. Someone shushed him. 

“Well, this could take all day,” Stan muttered. 

“Not until Kyle finds something to shut Kenny up with,” Token whispered back, and someone silenced him too. 

“Oh, Kyle, are you feeling down? I can fill you up,” Kenny said moving closer to Kyle, and the redhead bumped his head on the locker at the sudden vicinity. Stan could practically see the gears moving in his friends’ brain. 

“Cartman won the bet,” Clyde declared. 

“You’ll like that, huh?” Kyle asked. The game was back on. 

“Why miss this opportunity, Kyle?” Kenny continued. “I’ll make you feel so good. Rough or vanilla, you pick”.

Stan knew that Kenny was mentally rolling on the floor laughing and he suddenly felt so bad for Kyle he considered stepping in. Nevertheless, Kenny continued: 

“You are just pissed at me for what happened with Bebe, aren’t you?” he asked, sounding unexpectedly sincere, and Kyle gave him an annoyed grimace. For the slightest of moments Kenny dropped his fuckboy-façade, and the tension in Kyle’s shoulders slowly melted away at the sight of Kenny’s familiar, friendly smile. Stan had no idea what was going on, but, as soon as that happened, Kyle transformed right before his eyes. Taking advantage of Kenny’s honest concern, Kyle made his next move. 

“I am,” Kyle admitted and raised his eyes to Kenny’s face. Without looking away, Kyle slowly reached out for Kenny’s hand and pulled it softly next to his lips. Kenny knitted his eyebrows in confusion and he almost jumped back in surprise when Kyle wrapped his mouth around Kenny’s index and middle finger and trailed his tongue up to his fingertips. “Try harder if you want to make up for it,” Kyle said in a husked voice and dropped Kenny’s hand. Stan would pay millions to be able to delete Kyle’s sensual smirk from his mind’s eye. 

Kenny looked as shocked as Stan was and took a huge step backwards, finally letting Kyle breathe. He opened his mouth but shut it immediately after, and turned his head to look at Cartman, wordlessly. All eyes were now on Cartman, who groaned loudly in frustration. 

“Seriously, Kenny?” he exclaimed. “All he needed to do to take you down was suck your fingers?” 

At Kenny’s silence an exultant grin stretched across Kyle’s face. The redheaded teen let out a triumphant shout and shoved Kenny out of the way to point an index at Cartman. 

“HA!” he gushed. “You lose, you fatass! You lose!” he taunted, jumping from joy. Stan almost expected Kyle to backflip down the hall, but he stretched his open palm towards Cartman instead. “Ten bucks, wasn’t it?” 

Cartman swore loudly under his breath but reached out for his wallet anyway and slammed the bill in Kyle’s waiting hand. Kyle pocketed the money and amicably patted Kenny on the back, too happy to notice the still confused look gracing Kenny’s features. 

“Now move, Kenny, I have to take my notes for next period,” Kyle ordered finally opening his locker. The bell rang just in that moment and the students walked back to their respective classes. 

For the rest of the day things returned back to normal again, and Stan was quite amazed to see that no one was openly talking about what had happened between Kenny and Kyle. Only Cartman wore a sullen look for the best part of the morning, but during lunch break he too returned back to his old self, deciding at the last moment to pick on Butters rather than dare Kenny to do something foolish again. Stan prayed that Cartman kept it that way. 

Apparently, though, Cartman wasn’t the only one who was hung up on bets. 

The next day, just a couple of hours before school ended, Kenny came running like a madman down the corridor and halted in front of Stan and Kyle, who were discussing their next project together in front of Stan’s locker. 

“Kyle! Kyle!” Kenny exclaimed. He paused to regain breath, put a hand on his chest as if to slow down his rapid heartbeat and raised his head to look at Kyle again. “Kyle, you won’t believe what happened!” 

“What?” Kyle asked, knitting his eyebrows in confusion, and shared a worried look with an equally bewildered Stan. Kenny stood up straighter and put his arms around Stan and Kyle’s shoulders, grinning at them both. 

“The girls!” Kenny exclaimed. “They are making a stupid list again, but this time it’s a list on the cutest couples in school”. 

“Oookay?” Stan prodded him. Wendy didn’t talk to him about any list, but a sense of impending doom overwhelmed him all the same. 

“Craig and Tweek are obviously the cutest gay couple,” Kenny continued, “but after what happened yesterday, the girls started to debate if they should add us too”. 

“Us who?” Kyle asked, narrowing his eyes at Kenny in suspicion, and the blond boy rolled his eyes to the ceiling as if he had just heard the dumbest question ever. 

“Why _us_ , of course,” Kenny retorted, arching his eyebrow eloquently. Kyle blinked at him in utter disbelief, let out a frustrated sigh and batted away Kenny’s arm still hooked around his shoulder. 

“Let’s go, Stan,” Kyle said, adopting a neutral tone of voice. Kenny untangled himself from Stan and quickly moved to stand in front of Kyle again, who just tilted his head to the side in exasperation. 

“You didn’t hear the rest of the story,” Kenny said. 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Kyle stated. 

“Seriously, dude,” Stan stepped in, “you are not even a real couple. Why are you so hyped up about this?” 

“Because, Stan, the girls are now debating whether the cutest gay couple is Tweek and Craig or Kyle and me,” Kenny explained. “They divided into two opposing teams: one is betting against us and the other is cheering for us. They are actually betting _real money_ on it! It’s doesn’t matter if we are really dating or not, the point is, Bebe promised me twenty percent of the winnings if Kyle and I proved to the other team we really are the cutest”. 

“Bebe thinks you are a couple?” Stan asked, taken aback. “Who’s Wendy with?”

“Is that really important, Stan?” Kyle asked, annoyed. 

“Please, Kyle,” Kenny begged turning to face Kyle again. “It’s just a one-time thing. The girls expect us to confront Craig and Tweek in the schoolyard after school. Think about the money we are going to go home with if we win!” 

“Do you know you are sounding like Cartman right now?” Kyle asked. 

“Don’t insult me,” Kenny warned. When Kyle kept staring at him, unimpressed, Kenny groaned: “Come on, Kyle. You don’t even have to do anything!” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Kyle intoned and pushed past Kenny. “I’m done having your hands all over me because of a stupid bet. Tell the girls we are not indulging them and their damned fads”. 

“Cartman bet for Craig and Tweek,” Kenny blurted out, and Kyle stilled mid-way. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose when Kyle slowly turned his head towards Kenny again. 

“What?” 

To say Stan hated Cartman with a passion was truly a huge understatement. 

And that was how Stan found himself sitting between Butters and Clyde waiting for some kind of gay contest to start. In front of them, right in the middle of a ring made up by crazed girls, Craig and Tweek were facing Kyle and Kenny head on. Stan already knew that the citizens of South Park were morons, but this was too much even for them. Craig too seemed to think the same, as an irritated frown altered his usually impassive features. He stared at Kenny with his arms crossed over his chest, puffing out a breath of frustration at regular intervals. Right next to him Tweek was quivering like a leaf, his eyes shifting from face to face, completely lost. Kenny was the only one enjoying this, while Kyle stood unenthusiastic right next to him. Craig shared a look with Kyle, and when the latter shrugged, his frown deepened. 

“Why are we even here?” Craig finally asked directed at the girls watching them with anticipation. “They are not even a couple. Make your dumb list and let us go home”. 

“Y-yeah!” Tweek exclaimed, running a hand through his messy blond hair. “This is too much pressure! What the hell are we supposed to do?” 

“Oh, shut up, Craig,” Kenny said with a grin. “If we are here, it means the girls are fed up with your lovey-dovey PDA. They want real boy on boy action and that’s where we step in,” he said. As if to prove his point, Kenny put an arm around Kyle’s shoulder, pulled him abruptly closer and nonchalantly groped Kyle’s chest over his orange jacket. Kyle followed the hand with an annoyed expression on his face but didn’t protest. “We are sexier”. 

Some of the girls started muttering to each other. 

“That doesn’t make any sense, Kenny,” Craig retorted. Kyle absentmindedly nodded in agreement, and Craig’s lips briefly curved upwards. Kenny just pressed his side to Kyle’s, unraveled his arm from Kyle’s shoulders and let his hand slid down the other’s back and into Kyle’s back pocket. 

“We are not a couple just because we want to put up a show!” Tweek growled, and Craig glanced at him with the corner of his eye. “We’ve been together for years! You just- you just-!” 

“Kenny, you are just doing this for money,” Craig reasoned, saving Tweek before he started hyperventilating. Both of them looked more fed up with this by the second. “I love Tweek, and before you say something stupid, no, Kenny, you don’t love Kyle that way,” Craig declared. He then turned his gaze to their audience: “Girls, you can say whatever you please, but fact remains we _are_ a real couple. Cute or not, it doesn’t matter. They, on the other hand, don’t even deserve a nomination”. 

“You are not even holding hands!” Kenny exclaimed, and Craig rolled his blue eyes to the sky. He reached out for Tweek’s fingers and squeezed them in his. Unconsciously, Tweek scooted closer. 

“You aren’t either,” Craig said matter-of-fact. “You are just cupping a feel”. 

“You don’t know what you are missing,” Kenny retorted and squeezed Kyle’s ass as if to prove his point. Kyle jumped in surprise, but didn’t leave Kenny’s side. 

“He doesn’t even want to be here,” Craig continued waving at Kyle with his free hand. “Just let go. We win, everybody is happy”. 

“Who said you are winning?” Kyle suddenly spoke up. He slid his arm around Kenny’s shoulders and tangled his fingers in the other’s blond hair. Kenny’s grin was blinding. Some girls in the audience swooned, and Stan seriously considered standing up and leave the freak show for good. Next to him Clyde and Butters were completely absorbed in what was happening. 

“Seriously, Kyle?” Craig asked. 

“I’m not going to lose to Cartman,” Kyle said as if that explained why he was letting Kenny trail his fingers up and down his back and under his shirt. 

“Can we call it a draw or something?” Tweek suggested. 

“Let the girls judge that,” Kenny said. 

“It would be easier if you did something!” someone called from the audience. Kyle snapped his head to the source of the voice, sure that it had been Cartman, but couldn’t see him anywhere. 

“Fine,” Craig said, let go of Tweek’s hand, pulled the blond towards him by the front of his green shirt and started sucking Tweek’s bottom lip, earning a yelp of surprise from the shortest teen. 

“Fuck, I never saw him so determined,” Clyde whispered next to Stan. 

“He’s really going down on him,” Token agreed behind them.

Stan groaned and pressed his hands on his eyes. 

Kenny watched the two kiss passionately in front of him with an interested look on his face, and when Craig and Tweek finally pulled away, he arched an eyebrow at Kyle. 

“Don’t you dare, Kenny,” Kyle threatened him. He untangled his fingers from Kenny’s hair and let them drop to the side. “I’m not going to suck your balls”. 

“Should I do it then?” Kenny asked. 

“No one is sucking anyone's balls,” Kyle stated, menacing. He was ready to walk away, when, suddenly, Kenny yanked him back into his embrace so that Kyle had to press his chest against him to hold his balance. Kenny slid his hands around Kyle’s waist and tugged him by the belt loops, forcing their crotches to grind against it other. Kyle stared at him straight into his eyes, left eyebrow raised in challenge, but Kenny just shrugged. 

“Just close your eyes and pretend I’m Bebe,” Kenny said. 

“That’s easy for you to say,” Kyle spat, but did as told. Kenny softly pulled him by the hair, and although Kyle objected at first, he finally tilted his head back. Letting out a sigh of relief, Kenny leaned down and started trailing butterfly kisses along Kyle’s jugular, carefully avoiding the other’s mouth on his way up. He gently pressed his nose in Kyle’s hair and moved to run his tongue along Kyle’s outer ear, holding Kyle’s head back so that everyone could see what exactly he was doing. Kyle’s arms suddenly shot up and grabbed Kenny by the back of his shirt, holding onto him, as if his legs would buckle underneath him if he didn’t. Encouraged by Kyle's unexpected cooperation, Kenny suddenly focused his interest on another part of Kyle’s body and started working his tongue on the patch of skin between Kyle’s collarbone and shoulder-! 

“Ngh!” Tweek exclaimed. “I am not going to do that!” 

Everybody’s eyes were suddenly on Craig and Tweek again. Tweek violently pulled his hair, turned on his heels and walked away, followed by a grateful looking Craig. The girls started talking loudly around them, and Kenny finally let go of Kyle, took his hand and raised it up as if declaring a winner. 

“They are not really a couple, are they?” Clyde asked Stan, curious. 

“No, they’re not,” Stan answered. 

“They could have fooled me,” Token commented behind him. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more serious than the previous two chapters, but I hope you won't mind. ;) Thank you again for all your comments! You are awesome!!!

* * *

“Uncle Jimbo invited me to go hunting with him. Wanna join?” 

Stan let out a sigh of relief when Kyle, Kenny and Cartman promptly agreed. It had been a long time since they last went camping together. Stan knew that uncle Jimbo would probably wander through the woods on his own to shoot at everything that moved, leaving the boys behind in their bivouac. In the best case scenario, the four would drink beers and sodas and do nothing particularly exiting, but it would be a good opportunity as any to get out of South Park for a while. To be honest, Stan accepted uncle Jimbo’s offer because of something Kyle had said a few days back: 

“I don’t understand why every small, insignificant thing that happens in this town escalates so quickly. I mean, Cartman started his silly bets and now everybody in school wants to bet on something. As if that weren’t bad enough, my dad started doing it too and your dad will soon follow, and considering how things work here, by the end of the month we are going to skydive onto Mt. Everest because the whole country has gone bankrupt and we need to reach an agreement with the Dutches! And you know what? No one ever learns their damned lesson and we are back to square one with something new. I’m done”. 

Stan had to admit Kyle was right. 

After that absurd competition between Kyle and Kenny and Craig and Tweek, everybody in South Park High School started gambling. It didn’t matter what or who they were betting on, so long as money was involved and someone left the classroom crying from embarrassment. It was a dangerous game that spread like wildfire, and the town suddenly risked being consumed by it too. Stan had no idea how that happened, but he supposed it was one of those things that made South Park charming and encouraged him to drink just a can of beer more. Be that as it may, the four of them needed a time out before they did skydive onto Mt. Everest and broke their necks in the process. More than everything, Stan wanted to keep Cartman out of this. He probably didn’t have anything to worry about, considering that, for the time being at least, Cartman wasn’t directly or indirectly profiting from all that gambling, but it was better to stay on the safe side. 

So the four friends promised their mothers that they were going to be good boys and followed uncle Jimbo to one of his hunting missions. They reached the forest by car and followed the river upstream on foot. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and all animals were out grazing, making things easier for uncle Jimbo’s killer instincts. As expected, he soon tried to lure the boys into hunting with him. Stan refused: blood and hurting innocent animals were not an attractive prospect for him. Kyle stayed with him, Kenny stayed because having a drink was much more alluring, and Cartman did because where Kyle went, he went too. Unfortunately for Kenny and Stan, uncle Jimbo didn’t bring the alcohol, because it was usually Ned who packed and Jimbo just forgot. 

Sitting by an old burned-out campfire with nothing to do proved to be extremely boring, however, so they decided to wander around on their own. It was when they reached the top of a waterfall that problems started to arise. In other words, Cartman was bored out of his mind. 

Kenny looked down on the water gushing over the rocks under their feet, the only one brave enough to walk up to the brink of the cliff. Kyle was staring at the back of Kenny’s dirty T-shirt with a worried quirk at the corner of his mouth, while Stan sat down on the moistened soil and enjoyed the sun on his skin. No one was paying attention to Cartman, which usually meant trouble. 

“Hey, Kinny,” Cartman began, making everyone turn their heads to him. “Five bucks you don’t have the guts to jump down the waterfall!” 

“Five bucks?” Kenny asked, glancing down the cliff. “This is worth more than that”. 

“What about ten?”

“Deal!” Kenny agreed and started taking his shirt and shoes off. 

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Kyle shouted, walking rapidly next to Kenny. The blond objected loudly when Kyle pulled him away from the ridge, but his words of protest fell on deaf ears as Kyle concentrated his attention on Cartman instead: “Do you want to get him killed?” 

“Relax, it’s not that high!” Cartman retorted. 

“Not that high my ass, douchebag,” Kyle spat. “Why don’t you do it instead?” 

“I’ve- I’ve just ate,” Cartman muttered, and Kyle rolled his eyes to the sky. 

“You’re just a chicken,” Kyle provoked him.

“I’m not! Wait three hours, you filthy Jew, and I’ll prove you wrong!” 

“It will be dark in three hours, just do it now!” Kyle exclaimed. 

“Guys, is this really necessary?” Stan tried to intervene, but before either Kyle or Cartman could spit back a retort the sound of gunshots made them all shut up. Everything went still and quite for a couple of seconds, when, suddenly, what sounded very much like firecrackers made the ground shake slightly underneath them. 

“The fuck?” Cartman mumbled besides him, but before Stan could come up with a logical explanation for the firecrackers another weird noise made them snap their heads towards the waterfall. Stan’s eyes bugged out with fear when he saw Kyle slightly roll backwards, his heels hanging over the edge, stretching his hands out towards Kenny who was standing some feet away from him.

“KYLE!” Stan cried out shooting up in a standing position, but by then Kyle had already vanished. 

When Kyle finally realized that, in his haste to pull Kenny away from danger, he had walked up to the very brink of the cliff, it was simply too late. The ground shook, and next thing Kyle knew he was staring at the blue sky instead of Cartman’s ugly face. The fall felt endless before he crashed into the plunge pool. Kyle tried to breath, but the water dragged into his mouth while the currents and the force of the waterfall pulled him to the bottom. He felt more than heard someone dive after him, then everything went black. 

Maybe he passed out for a split second, but Kyle felt like he had been out cold for hours when a pair of lips brought him back to consciousness. The air was forced down into his windpipe while two hands kept pressing on his chest at regular intervals to revive him. The water gurgled up his trachea, and Kyle abruptly turned to the side to cough it out. There was a hand gently massaging his back, helping him puke all the water he had shallowed, and it was only when Kyle finally regained his breath that he realized that it was no other than Kenny. 

“Gross, dude,” Kenny joked. Kyle shoved some wet curls from his face and slowly moved his head to look at his friend, who was barefoot, soaked to the bone and shivering. Kyle casted a quick glance at their surroundings. They were lying on the river bank, but the waterfall was nowhere to be seen. Kyle didn’t need to ask to know what exactly had happened. 

“The currents dragged us far,” Kenny explained, “but I’m sure they’ll find us soon. Stan must be worried sick”. 

“Did you really dive after me?” Kyle asked, voice hoarse. “You could have died, you moron”. 

“Trust me when I say I’m not afraid of death,” Kenny said. “Are you okay?” he asked then, honestly concerned, shifting his eyes up and down Kyle’s body, checking for injures. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Kyle answered and slowly moved into a sitting position. “My chest’s burning,” he added. 

“It’s normal,” Kenny said, as if he had experienced falling off a cliff and almost drowning a thousand of times before. “It’s going to get better”. 

“You’re shivering,” Kyle pointed out noticing how Kenny’s teeth chattered as he spoke. Kyle viewed the forest of thick black trees surrounding them and realized there was no way they would find the main road by adventuring into the woods without a compass to guide them. They had no other option but to wait for help. He arched an eyebrow in question when Kenny slowly stood up and started gathering firewood along the bank. 

“Do you think that’s necessary?” Kyle asked. “Maybe they’re already on their way”. 

“I’m not going to let you die from hypothermia while we wait,” Kenny said flashing him a bright smile. 

Kyle hastily stood up as well and started helping Kenny out with their makeshift bonfire. Walking around helped them get their blood pumping and time ticked quickly by as they tried to build a fire. Kyle was amazed by how creative Kenny could be, doing his best with what little he had. When he was a kid he had been a Jew Scout, but all that basic survival skills he had to learn were long forgotten. Now, he watched fascinated as Kenny used shredded tree bark for tinder, dry twigs as kindling and dag a groove in the earth to spark a fire with what they found. For a couple of minutes the crackling of the bonfire was the only sound they could hear while they sat side by side in silence, warming their hands and shivering bodies up. Kyle put his soaking wet shoes by the fire and let his gaze wander over the river. The sun was already dropping towards the horizon.

“Do you think we’re going to pass the night here?” Kyle asked, shifting his gaze to the woods surrounding them. Kenny kept his on the fire before them and shrugged. 

Silence fell between them again, and Kyle drew his legs together and laid his face on his knees. 

“I guess I won the bet, huh?” Kenny said as an ice-breaker, and Kyle snorted. 

“Why are you so into bets lately?” Kyle asked not repressing his smile and turned his head towards Kenny. 

“Well, you see, my lad, if you go grocery shopping without bringing some cash, it’s called theft,” Kenny said sounding like an old wise man. Kyle chuckled against his hand, and Kenny’s eyes suddenly on him. 

“No, really,” Kyle said when his laughter subsided, and Kenny scratched the back of his head, deep in thought. Kyle watched him as Kenny struggled to find the right words for what he wanted to say next.

“I didn’t tell you guys, because it’s not that important,” Kenny began, voice soft, “but Kevin is leaving South Park next year. He managed to scrape some money together and he is going to move out. This is going to be our last Christmas together and I want it to be perfect,” Kenny continued scratching the tip of his toes as if what he was telling Kyle were not that big of a deal. “I want to buy my brothers gifts. And maybe a turkey too, so we can finally have a normal dinner”. 

“Oh,” Kyle breathed, and Kenny shrugged. Kyle stretched his legs again, opting to sit cross legged and stared at his drying shoes for a while before he decided to break the ice again.

“Did you really have to go such lengths for it?” 

“What? Groping you and stuff?” Kenny asked with a smirk. 

“That too,” Kyle admitted feeling a smile stretch across his face, “but nothing compared to when you, well, kissed me after eating that disgusting sandwich”. 

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Kenny apologized. 

“That’s not it,” Kyle said, honest, “it was just fucking disgusting. One moment this gooey thing was standing right next to a puddle of pee, the next I swore I could feel it in my mouth! I wanted to puke!” 

Kenny burst out laughing. 

“How did you do that?” Kyle asked, amazed. 

“Sometimes you just swallow”. 

“Eww, Kenny. Just, eww”. 

“Well, for me it wasn’t that bad,” Kenny said. “It was the moment I thought I wouldn’t mind doing it again, kissing you, I mean. That’s why I kept touching you whenever Cartman gave me a chance”. 

“Your suave pick-up lines don’t work on me,” Kyle said, “you know that”. 

“Yes, I know,” Kenny laughed. 

Kyle tilted his head to the side, admiring Kenny’s happy face. It was different from when the four of them had fun together, much more peaceful.

“I really don’t understand you, Kyle,” Kenny said, grin wide, pushing Kyle out of his thoughts. “You don’t mind getting dirty and stuff. You even idolized a talking piece of crap back when we were kids, but you freak out over pee and bananas!” 

“You don’t freak out over anything, Kenny. You wouldn’t understand,” Kyle said, but when Kenny remained silent, Kyle snapped his head to him in wonder. “You do?” 

“What?” Kenny asked, suddenly on the defensive. 

“Don’t give me that look,” Kyle said, rolling his eyes to the darkening sky. “What freaks you out? You can tell me!” 

Kenny laughed slightly in embarrassment, and Kyle blinked at him expectantly. 

“Let me guess, old, soggy boobs?” 

Kenny laughed. 

“Old means experience,” Kenny said, not missing a beat. 

“Would you really fuck a grandma? Eww,” Kyle gagged, and at Kyle’s reaction, Kenny just laughed harder. He absentmindedly scooted closer to pat Kyle on the back, but his hand didn’t leave Kyle’s shoulder when he was done teasing him. 

“It’s so easy to gross you out,” Kenny said when the laughter subsided. 

“Will you tell me or not?” Kyle asked, annoyed. “I thought we were friends!” 

“Oh, well. Since you asked so kindly,” Kenny teased, and Kyle felt Kenny’s hand slid down from his shoulder to the ground. “I freaked out earlier today, if you wanna know,” Kenny confessed after a moment of silence. “When you fell down. I thought we lost you”. 

“Why do you keep saying things like that?” Kyle asked, his traitorous heartbeat speeding up. Kenny kept his gaze on the fire, and Kyle suddenly realized that Kenny’s smile was slowly disappearing from his face. 

“I don’t know if I can stop it if it freaks you out, because it’s just too fun to rile you up,” Kenny said, jokingly, and Kyle wanted so much to say that it did freak him out and that Kenny should stop trying to flirt with him when they both knew he didn’t mean it. His mouth, though, had other plans. 

“No, it doesn’t actually”. 

Kyle would never admit, not out loud at least, how reassuring it was to see Kenny’s smile back on his face. 

“No?” 

“Well, not really,” Kyle confessed. “It’s normal to get pissed off when someone touches you against your consent, but I don’t mind it if I know what to expect. I mean- well, you know what I mean,” Kyle hastily mumbled. 

“No, do go on,” Kenny said, “I like where this is going”. 

“Knock it off, Kenny,” Kyle spat. “It’s just you, okay? As long as it’s you, or Stan, I don’t care. You are my friends”. 

“So you would let Stan grope your ass? Jeez, I didn’t know you liked him that way. Would you make out with Stan too?” Kenny asked. 

“Why? When did we ever make out?” Kyle asked back. 

“Good point,” Kenny said and turned his head to Kyle. “Next time Cartman tells me to piss you off, I’ll make out with you. Just so you know what to expect”. 

And Kyle didn’t know why, but he burst out laughing, and Kenny did too. He felt Kenny shoulder bump against his own, and Kyle didn’t know if it’s because of the fire or because of Kenny’s warm skin, but Kyle was suddenly sweating. He fiddled with his fingers and shot a doubtful look at the shoes drying up next to the bonfire, wondering if he should move them away from it before they caught fire. Kenny breathed softly next to him, and Kyle could feel his gaze on the nape of his neck. 

Kenny was silent again, but he usually was when he had nothing to comment on or when he didn’t feel the need to flirt or say something disgusting. Kyle didn’t mind. It was easier to sit by his side like this when no one was watching them. Since the day Kenny made out with his ear and his collarbone in front of the whole school, Kyle hesitated to stay too close to him. An irrational fear, all things considered, because he knew what to do in case Kenny dared to attack him again. 

“I don’t think Cartman will bet against me ever again,” Kyle reflected. 

“That’s too bad,” Kenny said, and Kyle finally locked eyes with him. 

“Maybe, yeah…” Kyle trailed off. It was difficult for him to accept the fact Kenny’s presence made him feel at a loss for words. It never happened before, but Kyle had no idea what to say anyway. Kenny looked extremely comfortable next to him, so at ease it made Kyle’s heart skip a beat. He wanted this Kenny to stay by his side, not the one that said lewd things just to please Cartman’s ego. He wanted to tell him so, but at the same time Kyle didn’t want to know what Kenny would reply to this. 

A shiver ran down Kenny’s spine, and Kyle took his dried jacket and passed it to him. Kenny gratefully accepted it, and when Kenny’s fingers momentarily caressed Kyle’s hand, it was Kyle’s turn to shiver. Kenny’s face was so close to his, he could feel his warm breath caress his cheek.

“Your breath stinks,” Kyle said, not knowing how to loosen the sudden tension between them. 

“Hunger breath,” Kenny replied. 

“Hopefully they’ll find us soon,” Kyle said and they both fell silent again. Hours passed before they finally heard the rustle of broken branches behind them. Someone turned their flashlight on Kenny’s face, and Kyle squeezed his eyes to see into the darkness. 

“Boys!” uncle Jimbo familiar voice called after them. “Boys!” 

Kyle and Kenny shot up on their feet and let their eyes wandered in search of the owner of the flashlight. 

“Kyle!” Stan shouted, and Kyle took Kenny’s hand and stepped forwards. 

“Over here!” Kyle exclaimed. Finally uncle Jimbo appeared through the bushes, followed by Stan and Cartman, who was carrying a pair of old shoes in his hands. 

“Kyle!” Stan exclaimed when he finally spotted his friend and ran to hug Kyle close. The redhead left Kenny’s hand to hug Stan back, happy to see him again. Cartman lingered hesitantly besides them, looking like someone who wanted to say something but didn’t know if he had the right to. 

“Dude! My shoes, thanks!” Kenny exclaimed, making Cartman snap to attention, and the guilty look finally left his round face. 

“Yeah, well, I figured you’re too poor to have another pair home”. 

“I’m glad to see you’re doing well, boys,” uncle Jimbo said. “All things considered, it would be better if we call it a night and I bring you all home. Your mother is worried sick, Kyle”. 

“God, did you tell her I fell off of a cliff? She’s going to kill me!” Kyle exclaimed turning to Stan. 

“I well, I panicked!” Stan said, raising his hands in surrender. 

“No one had any faith in me when I dived after him to save his sorry ass?” Kenny asked, sounding sincerely upset, but when Kyle turned to look at him and smiled, Kenny’s chest puffed out. 

Stan could not stop looking at Kyle and Kenny on their ride back; Cartman sat on the front seat, while Kenny squished between Stan and Kyle in the back. 

Stan was glad nothing had happened to his friends and he was kind of angry at uncle Jimbo for using firecrackers to lure a family of foxes out of their den, but there was something different between Kyle and Kenny he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Kenny kept glancing at Kyle from time to time, a pensive look on his face Stan had only seen on his mother when she saw George Clooney on the TV. Kyle, on the other hand, wasn’t acting very different as he started bickering with Cartman over their seat arrangement. When Kyle leaned against his seat suddenly exhausted, however, Stan noticed that his hand was too close to Kenny’s one to be just coincidence. 

They dropped Kyle first. 

Kyle opened the door and hopped out, thanking uncle Jimbo for the ride. He bided Stan good night but when he turned to Kenny, his face suddenly softened. 

“See you tomorrow,” Kyle said, although Stan couldn’t really pinpoint if he was talking to Kenny in particular or to all of them. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” Kenny replied. Stan’s eyes flickered between the two of them, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. No, this wasn’t the look his mother gave to George Clooney at all. 

“Good night, then,” Kyle said. 

Jesus Christ. It was getting embarrassing, Stan thought.

“Good night, Kyle,” Kenny replied. 

What was going on? 

“Hey!” Cartman exclaimed. “No good night kiss for me?” he laughed and made smooching sounds. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, questioning his taste in friends. 

“Fuck you, Cartman” Kyle muttered and slammed the door close. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, I thought this would need just four chapters to be completed. Now I see that it needs a couple of chapters more. Thank you so much for enjoying this! <3

* * *

“Hi, Kyle”. 

Stan felt shivers ran down his spine when he heard Kenny’s voice behind him. To say it was weird would be a pretty huge understatement. This was not the Kenny Stan knew and loved. It wasn’t even the I-found-a-billion-dollar-check-on-my-way-to-school kind of happy Kenny either. He was not flirting; he was just being uncharacteristically sweet without a reason, and if that was freaking Stan out, nothing compared to the sound of Kyle’s voice when he greeted back. 

“Hi, Kenny”. 

Maybe the Apocalypse was coming, who knew. It wasn’t reassuring that this _weirdness_ lasted a second either, as the two of them quickly reverted to their usual modus operandi when other people were around. Was Stan overreacting? Probably. But these were his two friends they were talking about. They were like brothers to him. They’ve known each other since kindergarten, and if the two of them had something romantic going on (God, he couldn’t even picture it in his head) then he should have seen it coming, right? 

Right. 

Stan didn’t have the courage to completely turn away from his locker and witness the way the two were glancing at each other when they thought no one was looking. In fact, as soon as Stan spotted Token, Craig and Clyde walking down the opposite side of the corridor, he immediately sprinted towards them, glad to have a good excuse to leave his two friends on their own for a while. 

“Hi, Stan,” Token said, halting in the middle of the corridor to greet him. Stan shot a worried look at Kyle and heaved a sigh of relief when he saw him opening his math notebook and showing it to Kenny. The field was clear. 

“Dude, I think you are right,” Stan whispered, turning back to the three of them. Craig arched his eyebrow in question, while Clyde tilted his head at him like a confused puppy. 

“I usually am,” Token said. “What about, though?” 

“About Kyle and Kenny!” Stan exclaimed, shooting another glance behind his shoulder to assess the situation. Kenny was now leaning against the locker, staring at Kyle while the latter flipped through the pages of his notebook. Okay, maybe Stan was looking too much into this. They weren’t acting so weirdly, after all. 

“What about them?” Clyde asked, curious, looking up at Kyle and Kenny too but seeing nothing out of the ordinary. 

“They must be dating,” Stan whispered, as if he were afraid either Kyle or Kenny could hear him. “There’s no other logical explanation to what is happening in these past few weeks. I mean, look at them!” he exclaimed. Token and Craig regarded Stan with identically raised eyebrows. As if on cue, Kyle looked up from his notebook and raised a hand as a greeting; Kenny simply nodded. 

“Okay, maybe they are not doing anything now, but-!” 

“No, dude, there’s no way they are dating,” Craig interrupted him, voice flat. “If you are referring to their stunts these past few weeks, it was just all make-believe. I would know”. 

“Just because you’re gay it doesn’t mean you have a gaydar or something,” Stan retorted, but Craig just rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 

“Well, they have been very touchy-feely lately…” Clyde trailed off. “But you are their friend, Stan. Wouldn’t they have come out to you by now?” 

“Good point, Clyde,” Craig said.

“I know them far longer than you do!” Stan reasoned. “I notice… stuff”.

“You notice shit,” Craig said. “You are just afraid that they would somehow destroy your cool gang image by being lovey-dovey, which, by the way, they are not”.

“That’s not it”.

“Guys,” Token interrupted them before their dialogue exchange could escalate into a full fight. The four of them snapped their heads towards Kyle and Kenny again. Kenny was now reading Kyle’s notes over his friend’s shoulder, while Kyle kept talking, too wrapped up in his speech to realize just how close the two of them were standing. Suddenly, Kenny raised his hand, brushed a strand of red hair behind Kyle’s ear and leaned even closer to point at something in Kyle’s notebook. Stan turned around to face Craig again, eyebrow raised. 

“They are not gay,” Craig said shaking his head in disbelief and turned on his heels. 

“I bet they are,” Clyde stated suddenly, making Craig stop in mid-track. “Well, Craig,” Clyde continued, flinching under Craig’s incredulous stare, “Kenny is pansexual, so-!”

“We are not doing this,” Craig retorted. 

“At this point, there’s only one way to make sure,” Token said. 

“No, seriously, Craig, I bet 20 bucks they totally are,” Clyde said, looking more hyped up by the minute. 

“20 bucks?” Stan asked, taken aback. 

“20 bucks they totally are not,” Craig said, eyes fixed on Clyde in defiance. 

“We should make them confess,” Token suggested. “What if we make them jealous of each other, or something?” 

“I thought you were the voice of reason,” Craig deadpanned, facing Token. 

“You must admit they were really into it that day,” Token assured. “In comparison to them, you and Tweek looked like B-movies actors”.

“I resent that,” Tweek suddenly piped in, walking slowly towards them and standing next to Craig. “What are we talking about?” he asked and scratched his ear, suddenly on edge when everybody snapped their attention to him. 

“Kyle and Kenny are together,” Clyde declared. 

“They are not!” Craig exclaimed, frustrated. 

“We’re betting,” Token explained, when Tweek gave him a quizzical look. 

“Oh, man!” Tweek mumbled.

“Are we really going to make them confess?” Stan asked, looking at Token with eyes as wide as saucers. “How?” 

“Call me when you make an ass out of yourselves, won’t you?” Craig asked turning to leave again. He made to take Tweek’s hand, but the latter batted him away and turned to look at Stan instead. 

“What if someone tries to kiss Kenny?” Tweek suggested. “Kyle would go nuts. He can’t keep his cool, after all”. 

Craig groaned. 

“Good idea,” Clyde said. “Since you suggested it, why don’t you do it?” 

“ _What?_ ” Tweek screeched so loudly every student passing by stopped to look at him. The five of them, however, snapped their heads towards Kenny and Kyle instead and winced when they realized Kenny and Kyle were staring back at them with identical worried expressions on their faces. Tweek, Clyde and Stan smiled shyly back, obviously trying to be reassuring, but it was already too late. It was clear that Kyle knew they were on to something, and Stan’s heart started beating fast when his friend slowly closed his notebook and started walking over to them. Kenny, on the other hand, just leaned against the locker again, bored. 

“Shit, he is coming! Do it now, Tweek!” Clyde prodded. 

“I’m not!” Tweek cried.

“Shove it, Clyde,” Craig threatened. 

“Butters!” Stan exclaimed suddenly, noticing their blond friend walking towards them with the corner of his eye. Before Kyle could ask him what was going on, Stan turned his back to him and ran to meet Butters halfway. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Kyle asked, narrowing his eyes at Stan, who was now whispering furiously in Butters’ ear. Clyde and Tweek smiled at him, but while the former managed to look charming, the latter’s face contorted into a pained grimace. 

“Okay, something’s up,” Kyle said, fixing his gaze on Tweek. “Is Cartman somehow involved in this?” he asked, just for good measure. 

“Yes, clearly,” Token revealed. Clyde let out a sigh of relief.

“What did he do now?” Kyle asked then, exasperated, but before Token could answer him, Stan returned back with Butters in tow. The blond fiddled with his hands, unsure of what to do with them, and shot a worried look at Kenny still leaning against the lockers. 

Stan was really a shitty friend, but exceptional situations call for exceptional measures and this was a case of emergency. The fastest Kyle and Kenny started acting normally again, the better. It had been incredibly difficult to convince Butters to go along with it, and Stan wanted to congratulate Cartman for being able to do it every fucking time. After listening to Stan’s hasty explanation on Craig and Clyde’s bet, Butters finally agreed on one kiss on the cheek. Stan hoped Butters didn’t need to do anything else, but knowing Kyle, they would need more than just a chaste kiss to piss him off and force him to make a scene. 

Kenny’s attention was completely on his shoes, and Stan pushed Butters softly forwards, encouraging him to get over with this as soon as possible. Clyde, Token, Tweek and Craig’s eyes were immediately on Kenny, eager to see how things were going to end. Only Kyle looked like he had been catapulted into another dimension. 

Butters took one tentative step toward Kenny, who finally noticed him and quirked his lips upwards in greeting. Stan waited and prayed that Kyle wasn’t going to cut his head off for what he had just done. 

“Hey there, Kenny,” Butters stuttered and shot another look at Stan. It didn’t go unnoticed. 

“What’s up?” Kenny asked, and his forehead creased in worry. Butters bit his lips and halted right in front of him. He shifted his gaze on Clyde, then on Craig and Token, leaving Kyle for last, and blushed. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just a bet!” Butters fretted, shut his eyes close, sprinted forwards, almost head-butting Kenny in the process, missed, and violently pressed his lips on Kenny’s nose. Kenny flinched in pain, and Butters would have run away from embarrassment, if Kenny hadn’t wrapped his arms around him to hold him still. Behind them, Stan, Clyde and Tweek stretched their necks to look at them better.

“A bet?” Kenny whispered, his blue eyes dancing with amusement. “Did someone bet you to kiss me?” 

“Actually,” Butters mumbled, looking extremely uncomfortable in Kenny’s arms, and he put a hand on the other’s chest as if to push him away. “Someone bet that…” he stammered, “You see, I was supposed to make someone jealous by kissing you or something… oh, God, you must be so sore, I am sure and-!” 

“No, it’s okay,” Kenny chuckled. “Let make this _someone_ real… jealous”. 

Maybe Stan was indeed looking too much into this, but he didn’t miss the glance Kenny threw Kyle’s way, before he leaned down and tenderly kissed Butters on the mouth. Clyde, Token and Tweek’s breaths hitched, and Stan averted his gaze from Kenny and Butters to focus his whole attention on Kyle instead. His best friend, however, looked anything but furious. All things considered, Kyle seemed to be taking it extremely well and just stared at Butters being kissed with a bored expression on his face. Stan shifted his eyes on Craig “I told you so” Tucker. 

The triumphant smirk on Craig’s face got on his nerves, and Stan immediately turned his head to Butters again. Kenny softly pushed Butters away, and the latter stumbled backwards, like a man who had just came out of a three-year coma and had forgotten how to properly walk. 

“Are you done?” Kyle flatly asked, nudging everyone out of their stupor. Kenny raised his eyes to him and winked, but Kyle’s face remained completely expressionless. 

“Oh, God, oh, God,” Butters stuttered, taking a huge step away from Kenny and walking over to Stan. “If my dad gets wind of this-!” 

“Seriously, Kenny, you’re a dick,” Kyle said fixing his eyes on Butters’ swollen lip for the slightest moment before he turned to face Stan head-on. “Did you tell him to do it, Stan? I thought you were not into this whole gambling fad”. 

“Jesus,” Stan started, but Token immediately came to his rescue. 

“It was Cartman,” Token said. 

“Why?” Kyle asked, and Stan let out a sigh of relief when Kyle tore off his angered eyes from him. 

“Who else is hung up on bets, Kyle?” Token asked, matter-of-fact-ly. 

“Yes, of course!” Clyde stepped in. “Not us, right Craig? _Craig_?” he asked in panic. 

“Don’t drag me into this,” Craig warned him, grabbed Tweek’s hand and walked away with him to their next class. Butters rushed to catch up, and Kyle rolled his eyes to the ceiling once before he decided to leave for class too. Stan shared a look with Kenny, who just shrugged in answer and walked away from them. 

“That obviously didn’t work,” Token said. 

“What if we’re wrong?” Clyde asked. “What if the possessive one is Kenny and not Kyle?” 

“Dude, do you even know Kenny?” Stan asked. 

“Yeah, well,” Clyde stuttered, scratching his head deep in thought. “He might pretend to be a flirt when in reality he’s just a… one partner for life kind of man?” 

“Do you really believe that?” Token asked, but Clyde seemed too embarrassed to continue explaining his theory. Wordlessly, the three of them parted ways and walked to class before the bell rang. 

By the end of the day, the idea of making Kyle and Kenny confess their secret relationship was stuck in everybody’s mind. Stan had to admit that Kenny didn’t touch Kyle inappropriately unless he was dared to do so, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing it willingly when no one was around. Kyle, on the other hand, did not seem to mind that much, and if that wasn’t a marvelous thing by itself Stan had no idea what was. 

Involving Cartman was probably a bad idea. 

Stan was sure Clyde was the one who tattled about the bet to Cartman, but he was glad that the brown haired boy had the decency to not spill the whole truth to him. Cartman had no clue that Craig and Clyde were betting on whether Kenny and Kyle were actually together or not, but he couldn’t miss the opportunity to rile Kyle up for anything in the world so he was immediately in. His plan, however, was anything but genius. 

“A longest kiss competition?” Stan asked, just to make sure he heard right. 

“Yes,” Cartman said. “I’ll stage it for a small price”. 

“Cartman!” Stan exclaimed. 

“Fine, whatever you need,” Token promptly agreed. 

“You have to talk to Wendy about this,” Cartman said, his lips quirking upwards, and Stan took an uncertain step back. 

“What for?” 

“You two need to participate, of course,” Cartman explained, eyes on the sky. “And Bebe and Kyle must too. Or maybe Bebe and Kenny, I don’t know. I’ll think about it”. 

“I don’t like this,” Clyde immediately protested. 

“Be a man, for once, Clyde,” Cartman said. “This is for the greatest good. Do you want to win the bet or not?”. 

“I just want to prove Craig wrong,” Clyde reasoned. “But I don’t want to see Bebe kissing guys to win this bet”. 

“Well, if you tell me what this bet is all about, I will think of something better. Why exactly do you want to push Kenny and Kyle against each other, Clyde?” Cartman asked, arching his eyebrow in question. Clyde bit his lip and immediately turned to Stan for help. 

“Does it matter?” Token asked, annoyed, just when Clyde blurted: 

“We want to prove Craig that Kyle and Kenny are secretly dating”. 

“Jesus Christ, Clyde,” Stan face-palmed himself. Shock flashed across Cartman’s face, but then his lips quivered into an amused smile and he burst out laughing. 

“Seriously? That’s so sweet!” he exclaimed, wiping a fake tear from his eye. “Kyle’s a closeted faggot? Wait, till-!” 

“No, Cartman,” Stan snapped. “Maybe we’re all wrong and we are going to destroy a perfectly good friendship if we do something stupid, so don’t even dare spread an unfounded rumor around before we get all the facts”. 

“Jeez, don’t get your panties in a knot, Stan,” Cartman said. “You’re spending too much time with Kyle, really”.

“I thought you were convinced they were really together,” Clyde wondered. 

“Together or not, my plan is going to help everybody out,” Cartman declared, grinning. “Just wait for it!” 

And in that moment, Stan wanted to turn back time and slap himself for freaking out after witnessing Kenny talk to Kyle as if he were the most important person in the world to him. What the hell had he done? 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for all the love! Hopefully this chapter will meet up to your expectations. ;)

* * *

“This is voyeurism”. 

Stan’s eyes flickered between Wendy and Cartman. She compressed her lips to make her annoyance clear. Cartman, on the other hand, took a long and deep breath. 

“It’s not,” Cartman drawled, using his most engaging voice. “It’s fair competition”. 

“And who in their right mind would want to make out in front of you, fatass?” Wendy asked, and Bebe nodded in agreement next to her, flipping her long, blond hair back over her shoulder for emphasis. 

Stan shot a look at Kyle and Kenny sitting at their desks and wondered what their thoughts were on the matter. They certainly didn’t look particularly intrigued. Kenny was sketching in his notebook; Kyle was just waiting for this ordeal to be over and done with. One thing was certain: Cartman knew how to play his cards right, so they were going to get involved soon enough, whether they liked it or not. There was no way out of this. Cartman had waited for the whole class to gather before he announced his ‘Longest Kiss Competition’ idea and the nomination of the ‘Petting Contest Pairs’, or PCPs for short. 

“There are 100 bucks on the table,” Cartman announced. Kenny’s head shot up from his notebook. 

“100 bucks?!” he cried, and Cartman flashed him a toothy grin. 

“I see we have a contestant,” Cartman said and then fixed his small eyes on Bebe, who scrunched up her nose under his scrutinizing stare. “Bebe, why don’t you pair up with Kenny? You know him. You have higher chances of winning with him than with somebody else, especially if that somebody is Clyde”. 

“Hey!” Clyde protested. 

“I wouldn’t mind 100 bucks…” Bebe trailed off. As if they had previously rehearsed, Wendy and Kyle slammed their fists on the table together, and Bebe jumped back in surprise at the sound. 

“Bebe! Don’t let him use you like this!” Wendy argued. Bebe blinked in disbelief but then something in Wendy’s demeanor aroused her suspicion and she narrowed her eyes, looking crossed. 

“What are you trying to do, Wendy?” Bebe asked. “Are you trying to rule out the competition? We both know that Stan doesn’t stand a chance against Kenny, but-!” 

“Stan is a better kisser than Kenny will ever be!” Wendy barked, her cheeks flushing with anger. Kenny snickered, and Kyle attention was immediately on him.

“Did anyone asked for Kenny’s opinion on this?” Kyle asked, annoyed. Stan, Clyde and Token shared a meaningful look, while Craig slumped back into his chair with a groan. 

“I’m in!” Kenny declared, sounding overly eager. Kyle gaped like a fish out of water. 

“Seriously?” Kyle asked, wide-eyed. Kenny shrugged nonchalantly.

“Stop being a jealous boyfriend, Kahl, and let the man have his fun,” Cartman calmly said writing Bebe and Kenny’s name on the chalkboard behind him. 

“Write our names too, Cartman!” Wendy ordered. At the same time Kyle cried: “Shut the fuck up, butterball!” 

Cartman complied with Wendy’s request and added Wendy and Stan’s names on the chalkboard. Stan groaned into his hands, but when Cartman turned around to face the class again, he realized he never stood a chance: his fate had long been decided. 

“So, who else’s in?” Cartman asked, pointing with his white chalk at no one in particular. “Craig? Tweek?” he asked, encouraging. 

“No way in hell, Cartman!” Tweek shouted. 

“You tell him, babe,” Craig incited. 

“Don’t come crying to me about equality and gay rights later,” Cartman muttered and let his eyes wander over the rest of the class. “Token? Nichole?” 

“Fine,” Token let out a sigh after sharing a long look with his girlfriend sitting at the desk next to his. 

“Sweet,” Cartman commented. “We have our black PCP. I wouldn’t mind a gay one now. Sure you don’t want to take part in this, Craig?” Cartman asked directing his chalk at the blue eyed boy. Craig flipped him off. 

“You’re just angry you lost last time,” Cartman said, and Craig narrowed his eyes at him, opening his mouth to make a cutting retort. 

“Stop being a dickhead, Cartman,” Kyle interrupted them. “No one is interested in this stupid competition”. 

“Just because no one wants to make out with you, doesn’t mean you get to speak for the rest of the class,” Cartman said. “Butters?” he asked. “Wanna try with Red?” 

“Why me?” Red interjected. 

Unfortunately, Cartman was good at manipulating people and bending them to his will. Before class started, his PCP list was completed. It was highly unlikely that some pairs would ever get together in real life, but Stan supposed it was all part of the game. Only a handful of people were aware of it, but the point of the whole competition was Craig’s and Clyde’s bet. The results were already fixed, and by Cartman no less. 

Stan stared at Wendy’s name hastily written under Bebe’s and heaved a sigh of frustration. The list was a bad imitation of the girl’s cutest couple list: Token and Nichole, Butters and Red, Jimmy and Jenny Simons, David Rodriguez and Annie Faulk and, despite their initial skepticism, Tweek and Craig. 

Cartman briefly explained the rules: they were going to play the game in three rounds. The first one was going to take place that very same day after school, where they were going to eliminate the three couples with the sloppiest make-out technique. On Saturday, at Cartman’s house, they were going to declare the two couples that could make out nonstop for half an hour. On the last round, the couple who could go at it for an hour (“Or more,” Cartman emphasized raising his eyebrows) eventually won. 

Stan thought that the whole contest was not just stupid but pointless as well, but only Kyle agreed with him. The one-hundred dollars prize was tempting. Token participated for fun, but the rest were in for the kill. Bebe, in particular, seemed to take her odds very seriously and even stood next to Kenny to plan their course of action in between classes. Stan didn’t miss the exasperated looks Kyle shot their way whenever Bebe stepped into the Kenny’s personal space. 

In fact, no one did. 

After the longest kiss competition announcement, Kyle’s bad mood became so palpable it actually became impossible to stand by his side. He snapped at everyone for no reason in particular, and it was the first time in the history of ever that Cartman managed to push him over the edge without actually doing anything. It wasn’t much different from when Stan pushed Butters to kiss Kenny, but while Kyle hadn’t seemed bothered by Butter’s failed attempt at jealousy, Bebe had somehow managed to turn the tables for him. In that moment Stan wondered if he had gotten it all wrong. Maybe Kyle truly liked Bebe.

But it wasn’t Bebe who earned most of Kyle’s snide little digs, it was Kenny. Stan wondered how their blond friend could take it without flinching. Not even a guy as patient as Kenny could last long without eventually snapping. 

No matter how much Kyle was against the whole competition, he promptly accepted to join Cartman’s panel of judges, which consisted of Cartman, Clyde and Heidi. 

The first round took place in the empty Chemistry classroom. Clyde locked the door and sat down between Kyle and Cartman. Stan and Wendy stood in front of the whiteboard along with the rest of the PCPs, feeling like an animal in a zoo. Kyle crossed his arms over his chest and stared straight ahead of him like he was blaming Stan –of all people- of what was about to happen. Stan would never admit, not out loud at least, that Kyle was absolutely right. 

“Let the competition begin!” Cartman announced, looking overly excited for someone who was doing it just to give Clyde a hand with his bet. 

Craig and Tweek kissed so hastily they were eliminated from the get-go, much to Tweek’s relief. Next tried Butters and Red followed by David and Annie: a minute in and Cartman decided they were out of the game too, no questions asked. Stan didn’t need to try hard to advance to the next round. Wendy was set on defeating Bebe at all costs and did most of the work. He couldn’t help but glance at Kyle when it was Kenny and Bebe’s turn. His whole demeanor changed from mildly uninterested to plainly pissed off, but nothing compared to the horrified look on Clyde’s face when Kenny and Bebe moved to stand face to face. The brown haired boy tried his best to keep a cool head, but it was impossible to miss the way he started fiddling with his pen, as if he was seriously considering to stab Kenny with it. Did Cartman plan that too?

Be that as it may, it was difficult to concentrate on the judges when Kenny and Bebe started making out. 

Bebe was trying her best to prove a point to Wendy and her fingers toyed with Kenny’s hair as if she were already battling for first place. Kenny was making her job easier, moving his head just right and caressing her body to make her legs go weak. Cartman didn’t plan for them to kiss for long, but he let them go at it for a couple of minutes longer, his eyes flickering from Kyle to Kenny and back again. 

Kyle’s face was a mixture of emotions, starting out with indifference, exasperation, hurt and, lastly, surprise. It was that last emotion that made Stan reconsider his view on the whole matter. 

“That’s enough!” Kyle exclaimed in the end, and Bebe pushed away to look at him, finally tearing her lips away from Kenny’s. 

“Do I get to the next round?” Bebe asked and beamed when Cartman flashed her thumbs-up. 

“That’s enough,” Kyle announced again slamming his notebook on the desk and shot a murderous look at Cartman. “I hope your voyeuristic tendencies are satisfied for today”. 

“It’s a fair competition,” Cartman defended himself, rearranging his notes like a professional businessman. “Okay, guys, see you on Saturday. Token, Nichole, you didn’t get to kiss, but you’re in the next round anyway”. 

“What?” Annie protested. 

“Fair competition my ass,” Kyle hissed and when he noticed that Kenny still had his hands on Bebe’s boobs, he clicked his tongue in disgust: “Are you done, Kenny?” 

“Chill,” Kenny said, rolling his eyes and taking a step back, hands in the air. “Your jealousy is pissing everybody off today, why don’t you turn it down a little?” he asked, facing Kyle head on. 

Oh, Kenny finally snapped, Stan thought, flickering his eyes between the two of them. 

“I’m not jealous,” Kyle spat, as if the mere thought insulted him. 

“If you wanted to participate, why didn’t you say so?” Clyde piped in, confused. 

“I don’t want to play Cartman’s games!” Kyle exclaimed. “In fact, none of you should. This is plainly ridiculous. How do you even know he has one hundred dollars to give you by the end of this?” 

“I do have one hundred dollars, Kyle,” Cartman solemnly said, and then looked at Kenny, shaking his head in disappointment. “See what happens when you don’t give Jews the chance to earn some money?” 

“This is not about money,” Kyle said. “This is about decency”. 

“Are we going to talk about morals, Kyle?” Kenny asked. “You know very well why I’m doing this”. 

All students snapped their attention to Kenny. Kyle was red in the face from anger. 

“You know what, Kenny?” Kyle asked. “I’m done trying to tell you that bending over to Cartman no matter what is fucking wrong. You want to be a whore? Fine! Suit yourself”. 

“So you think I’m a whore now?” Kenny asked, his mouth a thin line, suddenly on the defensive.

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” Kyle asked. 

“Screw you, Kyle,” Kenny growled. “I’m starting to believe you just want to shove your tongue down Bebe’s throat. You were so sore last time Cartman ruined your chances with her, and now-!”. 

“That was _you_ not Cartman!” Kyle cut him off. “And anyway, how is that even relevant?”. 

“I don’t hear you denying it,” Kenny snapped. The times Stan had seen Kenny’s face contorting with anger were few and far in between, and he shared a worried look with Wendy when Kenny took a threatening step towards the redhead. Kyle being Kyle, however, wasn’t intimidated by him and stood his ground, lifting his chin ever so slightly in defiance.

“Ha!” Cartman exclaimed, adding fuel to the fire. “I think you just hit a nerve, Kenny!”

“You wanna bang her? Is that it?” Kenny asked in a husky voice. 

“Guys, I’m right here,” Bebe whined in frustration. 

Kyle just stared at Kenny directly in the eyes. Stan turned to Token, Clyde or Craig for help, but they were so engrossed in Kyle and Kenny’s argument to pay him any attention. 

“I’m not the one groping and kissing everyone for five bucks,” Kyle said, fuming. “I tried to be supportive, Kenny, but enough is enough”.

“Oh, boy,” Butters muttered. 

“Guess what, Kyle, I don’t need your support,” Kenny said. For the slightest moment, Kyle looked like he had been slapped across the face. His breath quickened, and he took an imperceptible step backwards when he realized he had been standing right in Kenny’s personal space. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to add something to his argument, but shut it immediately after. 

“Good luck on Saturday,” Kyle said instead and, without looking back at Kenny, made a bee line to the door. He unlocked it and slammed it shut behind him. Kenny groaned in frustration and sat down on the first chair he found. Stan felt sorry for him.

“Hopefully he’s going to come around in the end,” Cartman said, cheerful. “Every competition I’ve seen has at least four judges present”. 

Stan dreaded to think what would happen on Saturday if Kyle was going to be one of said judges. 

Cartman had taken his ‘Longest Kiss Competition’ very seriously and had even built –with Butters’ help- an impromptu stage where his beloved PCPs could stand on and make out in front of everybody. It was nothing but a wooden scaffold that looked like it could break apart easily, and Stan doubted it could bear the weight of the four final PCPs if they stood on it all together. Cartman, Clyde and Heidi sat comfortably on the couch Cartman had made his mother and Butters push out of the living room and into the garden. 

Kyle was nowhere to be seen, but Cartman decided to start the second round without him. 

Kissing Wendy for half an hour in front of Cartman proved to be much more difficult than Stan first thought. He felt very aware of his surroundings, and by the way Wendy was moving against him, Stan realized that she too was having second thoughts about this. Ten minutes in and Wendy and Stan pulled apart by common accord. Token and Nichole, on the other hand, opted to lock lips and wait patiently until their time was up. On the other hand, Jimmy and Jenny were doing a pretty good job at keeping up with Kenny and Bebe.

Stan didn’t really care about it. He was glad that the game was over for him. He let his eyes wander over his classmates, who were completely engrossed in the competition. Some people were cheering Jimmy and Jenny on, while the rest of the class whistled and clapped every time either Kenny or Bebe moaned loudly to put up a good show. It was during one of those times that Stan finally spotted Kyle lingering by Cartman’s back door. 

Kyle shuffled his feet nervously, but when he caught Stan staring at him, his lips hardened and he made a bee line to where Cartman, Clyde and Heidi were sitting. Clyde arched an eyebrow in question, but scooted over to make room for him all the same. 

“What’s up with Kyle?” Wendy asked. Stan shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. 

“He’s overreacting,” Wendy continued.

“He always overreacts”. 

“Yes, but we all know Kenny,” Wendy said. “When we were younger, Kyle used to dare him to do some disgusting things for money too, and no one ever seemed to give a damn. This time, thought, Kyle looks like he wants to gauge Bebe’s eyes out because Kenny is making out with her for this stupid competition”. 

“Gosh, I’m so happy I’m not the only one who noticed,” Stan sighed. Wendy furrowed her eyebrows, deep in thought. 

“They did seem pretty into it that last time…” Wendy trailed off. 

“I know, right?” 

“Are they…?” Wendy asked. 

“No fucking clue,” Stan said. 

Just in that moment Cartman blew a whistle, signaling the end of the second round.

“Time’s up!” Cartman exclaimed. “Jimmy, you’re out!” 

“W-what?” Jenny asked, affronted, looking like she wanted to throw herself on Cartman and murder him. “I’ve been kissing him for more than half an hour!” 

“Yes, but it was disgusting to see, so you’re out,” Cartman said, matter-of-factly. “So, the two final PCPs are Kenny and Bebe and Token and Nichole!” he announced. Jenny stomped her foot on the wooden floor and stormed off.

“Ha! You lost, Wendy!” Bebe shouted by her place on the stage, bouncing with excitement. The scaffold made a scary creaking sound, and she took a step backwards in fear. Kyle and Clyde shot up from their seat on the couch and eyed the wooden stage worriedly. 

“I think they should step out of it,” Kyle warned, looking apprehensive. 

“Are you here to be a fair judge or to rain on everyone’s parade, Kyle?” Cartman asked, annoyed. “Let’s advance to the next round!” he exclaimed. 

Kyle fists tightened. 

“That thing is going to break apart!” Kyle exclaimed. 

As if on cue, the scaffold creaked again, louder this time, and everyone snapped to attention. The wood fibers cracked right under Kenny’s feet, and Kenny pushed Bebe away from him before that part of the stage collapsed completely under them. Bebe let out a screech and fell into Token’s open arms. Clyde shouted Bebe’s name and ran to her side right when Kenny slipped and fell into the hole. 

Kyle swore loudly under his breath and ran to the stage, kneeling down to peer into the hole that had swallowed Kenny whole. 

“You idiot,” he muttered, his lips quirking upwards when he saw Kenny sprawled out on the grass under the scaffold. 

“Am I dead?” Kenny asked, opening an eye and gazing up at Kyle in wonder. Kyle scoffed and reached down to grab Kenny’s arm. 

“Of course you are not,” Kyle said, amused. “It’s not like you went cliff diving”. 

“Shit. It hurt much more,” Kenny said, accepting Kyle’s hand and standing up in a sitting position. He pulled his head out of the hole and grinned widely at Stan, who let out a sigh of relief when he saw that Kenny was unharmed. 

“Hey, hey!” Cartman exclaimed, pissed off. “The competition is not over yet! Bebe, don’t be a wuss and go back on stage!” 

“Fuck you, Cartman!” Clyde shouted, and everybody’s eyes went wide with surprise. Bebe knitted her eyebrows in question when the brown haired boy stood closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I’ve had enough of your stupid games! I can’t stand seeing Bebe tongue wrestling with Kenny anymore. Let’s declare Nichole and Token winners of this fucking contest and end it there”. 

“The fuck?” Cartman said. 

“Hey!” Bebe protested, batting Clyde’s arm away. “I can speak for myself, Clyde!” 

“Wait a minute!” Kenny cut in. “I’m not giving up on one-hundred dollars!” 

“Find yourself another partner, Kenny,” Clyde spat. Bebe rolled her eyes to the sky. 

“Seriously, Clyde. I’m not some bimbo you can boss around. It’s just a stupid competition and-!” 

“I love you, Bebe,” Clyde blurted, and Bebe blinked at him in surprise. 

“Wait a minute, wait a minute!” Kenny cried, crawling out of the hole with Kyle’s help. “Can I really win this competition with another partner?” he asked casting Cartman a hopeful look. 

Stan, Token, and Clyde exchanged a quick meaningful glance. Bebe folded her arms, displeased, but when Token leaned in to whisper something in her ear, understanding dawned on her face and she shut up. Cartman scratched his chin in thought for a few minutes, enjoying the suspense, then looked at Kenny and nodded. 

Kenny’s head snapped towards Kyle. 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Kyle said throwing his arms up in frustration. 

“Please, Kyle,” Kenny pleaded and stepped closer into Kyle’s personal bubble. The hurt look flashing across Kenny’s face didn’t go unnoticed, and Kyle dropped his arms to his side in defeat. 

“I know you think I’m a whore and stuff,” Kenny began, and Kyle’s eyes flickered on his face. “But it’s 100 bucks. You know what I need them for”. 

Kyle studied Kenny’s features, mesmerized by the blonde’s sincere smile. 

“I didn’t mean that, Kenny,” Kyle said. “I just, well, I don’t want to see you humiliate yourself”. 

Kenny snorted in amusement and took a step closer to Kyle, absentminded. 

“It’s Cartman who’s being humiliated,” Kenny spoke softly. “It’s his money, after all”. 

A faint smile crossed Kyle’s lips. 

“That’s true”.

“I do need your support,” Kenny said, suddenly sounding unsure. “Just help me out with this one, please. Just this one”. 

“Are you done whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears?” Cartman shouted, and Kyle shot him a murderous look. 

“Shut the fuck up, Cartman! I’m taking Bebe’s place, so you can have your final round and we can all go home!” Kyle exclaimed. 

“If you do, I hereby relieve you of your judging duty,” Cartman notified him. 

“Yes, whatever, fatass,” Kyle said, and quickly glimpsed at Kenny before he reverted his attention to Cartman again: “Shall we start then?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Cartman waved him off. “You have an hour, or more. Give it your best shot,” he said and sat back down on the couch next to Heidi. 

Kyle’s eyes were back on Kenny, and he was surprised when he realized that Kenny hadn’t looked away once. Kenny’s mouth curved into a soft smile, and Kyle stepped closer. 

“Relax,” Kenny said, flaunting confidence even if Kyle could see Kenny was as nervous as he was, “I know you like Bebe, so… close your eyes and pretend I’m her”. 

“I don’t want you to be Bebe,” Kyle said. 

“Stan then?” Kenny smirked. Kyle gave him a disbelieving look. “Heidi maybe? Nichole? What about Jenny?” 

“Knock it off, already,” Kyle spat. “Is ‘Kenny’ not even an option?” 

Kyle gasped when Kenny leaned in and pressed his lips on his. Kyle’s arms, which had been hanging limply at his sides, suddenly moved upwards. When Kenny’s tongue parted Kyle’s lips, a shudder racked them both, and Kyle cupped Kenny’s face to deepen their kiss. Kenny’s fingers curled into Kyle’s hair, and as if that was some kind of signal, Kyle tilted his head and nibbled on Kenny’s lower lip. 

Stan stared.

Kenny’s hands slid down Kyle’s back and cupped his ass. 

Clyde and Bebe stared. 

Kyle didn’t care where Kenny’s hands were. He just curled his finger around the collar of Kenny’s shirt and pulled him in. 

Even Nichole and Token forgot they were supposed to be kissing and stared. 

Kenny and Kyle were past the point of caring. 

Kenny thought that kissing Kyle was like being struck by lightning. He felt Kyle’s hand slid under his shirt. Kyle was suddenly aware of the curve in Kenny’s lower back, faint scars scratching at his fingertips. An hour? Kenny thought. He could go on for days. 

Kenny pressed butterflies kisses at the corners of Kyle’s mouth, so quick that no one realized that their lips weren’t locked anymore. Kyle’s eyes fluttered open, and Kenny smirked. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” Kenny whispered against Kyle’s mouth. 

“Yeah?” Kyle breathed, sounding incredibly smug. “How come?”

“Choose your words carefully, Kyle, seriously. I don’t want to make a mess right in front of everybody,” Kenny whispered, and suffocated Kyle’s laugh by pressing his mouth against his again. 

Stan had no idea what was going on. Nichole and Token had long forfeited the match and just stared at Kyle and Kenny in amazement. Cartman, on the other hand, looked like a kid on Christmas’ Eve. Stan remembered that Cartman liked to play cupid sometimes, but he was sure the fatass was going to rub Kyle and Kenny’s weird relationship in their faces sooner or later. There was no way Cartman was sincerely happy for them. 

Stan reverted his attention to Kyle and Kenny, wondering why he hadn’t seen it before. And yet the signs had been there. 

The impromptu stage suddenly screeched again, and Stan jumped back in fear when the scaffold suddenly opened wide and shallowed Kenny and Kyle whole. He heard Kyle swore loudly, and Cartman shot up from his seat, clapping and whistling as if he had just witnessed the best stand-up comedy special of the year. 

“What an ass,” Wendy commented next to him, and Stan couldn’t do but agree. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, THANK you all for all your kind words and support! I'm so happy you liked this story so much. I wrote this because of a bet (with myself) that I could create something reasonable starting out with something extremely stupid. The love this fic got was unexpected. So, thank you again! And if you have any question, you can always drop by my tumblr.

* * *

“So… are you two together or what?” 

Silence flooded the table after Clyde’s unexpected question. As if remembering something, Butters shot his grilled cheese sandwich a dejected look and put it back down on his tray. Token, Craig and Tweek moved their heads up towards Kyle. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, cursing slightly under his breath. Cartman snickered. 

“Excuse me?” Kyle asked, blinking at Clyde as if he had been just declared idiot of the century. Stan couldn’t blame him, really. 

“Are you and Kenny together?” Clyde asked, eyeing the two curiously. “Like, dating and stuff…” he trailed off, suddenly insecure under Kyle’s fiery stare. The brown haired boy turned to Craig for help, but the latter just shrugged and bit into his sandwich. 

With the corner of his eye, Stan saw Kenny and Kyle share a meaningful look. Lunch had suddenly lost its appeal. Except for Craig and Cartman, no one else seemed interested in their lunchbox anymore. 

“Well…” Kenny began, unfazed by the fact that all eyes were now on him. Stan could practically see the joke hanging on the other’s lips, but Kenny kept surprisingly silent. He looked at Kyle instead, as if waiting for him to say something. The tension became suddenly so thick Stan could cut it with a knife. 

“Oh, come on!” Clyde suddenly exclaimed, feeling uncomfortable with the awkward silence. “I need to know if I won the bet or not! Fuck-!” he cursed and slammed a hand over his mouth, eyes opening wide at the slip of the tongue. Kyle’s lips thinned into a displeased line. 

“What bet?” Kyle asked, menacingly. 

“Clyde, you’re a pussy,” Cartman said, amused, and Clyde shot him a murderous look. Stan decided it was time to intervene. 

“Kyle, Kenny, may I talk to you for a sec?” Stan asked standing up and ignoring the annoyed look Cartman threw his way. Stan turned his back to them and walked out of the cafeteria in a hurry. He didn’t need to look over his shoulder to know that Kenny and Kyle were following him. When they the three of them were finally alone, Stan shoved his hands into his pockets and faced his two best friends head on. He shuffled his feet nervously and eyed Kyle’s arched eyebrow with apprehension. Well, here goes nothing, he thought. 

“Okay, listen,” Stan began, running a hand through his hair. “What happened on Saturday, was kinda my fault. I talked to the guys about you and stuff got out of hand and then Cartman was somehow involved, and, well, it’s like you said, Kyle,” he said, gesticulating wildly. “Things escalated real quick and-! Point is, I was angry at you two –especially you, Kyle- because we’re supposed to be super best friends but you kept it from me and I didn’t know what to think anymore. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t have supported you two? Sure, it’s shocking. My two best friends, together, like,” he intertwined his fingers, “It’s huge! You and Kenny, like, wow!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. “I really couldn’t believe that you two were actually-! You are, like, behind everyone’s back… I don’t know. What you are doing to each other in private is not my business, but, seriously, I’m your friend. You know you can talk to me about stuff, dude. Why the secrecy?” Stan asked, flickering his gaze between Kyle and Kenny. 

Kyle tilted his head to the side and turned to look at Kenny with his eyebrows raised high. Kenny just shrugged. 

“Stan,” Kyle said, articulating every word as if he were talking to a baby. “I have no idea what you are talking about”. 

“What?” Stan cried in surprise. 

“Seriously, dude,” Kenny said, his lips quirking upwards in amusement. “Are you high or something?”

“Are you shitting me?” Stan asked. “So there was no secret and stuff?”

“What secret?” Kyle asked instead. 

“The fact you two are secretly dating?” Stan tried, matter of fact-ly. “Like, when we came back from that hunting mission with my uncle and you were flirting with your eyes or when you practically dry humped in front of Craig and Tweek or-!” 

Kenny burst out laughing, and Stan looked at him as if he had grown a second head. 

“Stan,” Kyle said, smiling openly now. “Kenny and I were not dating”. 

“Are you fucking-!” Stan muttered. 

“Not yet, we’re not,” Kenny cut him, and Kyle elbowed him hard on the arm. 

“I seriously thought…” Stan began and looked at Kyle straight in the eyes for confirmation, but the latter shook his head no. 

“So this is what the bet is all about?” Kyle asked, and Stan let out a long sigh. 

“Clyde bet you were dating. Craig said no,” Stan confessed. 

“How much?” Kenny asked, his blue eyes flickering with amusement. 

“Twenty bucks,” Stan replied. A guilty look flashed across his face, and he looked at Kyle, dropping his arms to the side in defeat. “I’m sorry, guys. I seriously thought you were hiding stuff from me and I fucked it up”. 

Kyle and Kenny shared another look. 

“I think it’s time to come clean,” Kyle said and quickly walked back into the cafeteria. Kenny encouragingly patted Stan on the back, before he followed Kyle back inside. All eyes were on them when they finally slid into their seats. Stan sat between Butters and Cartman and looked up at Kyle and Kenny in front of him, expectantly. 

“Stan told me about the bet,” Kyle said, and all heads snapped to him. “Give Craig twenty bucks, Clyde. Kenny and I were not dating”. 

Stan’s heart skipped a beat. Token raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Clyde’s face fell. 

“I knew it,” Craig said and stretched his hand towards Clyde, who mumbled something incomprehensible and reached for his back pocket. He took out twenty dollars with a sad look on his face and quirked his lips downwards when Craig snatched the money from his hands. 

“Craig,” Kenny suddenly spoke up. Clyde looked up at him, crinkling his forehead. “You can give Clyde his money back”. 

“What the hell,” Craig muttered. Token snorted when Clyde dived over the table to take his twenty dollars back from Craig’s hands, almost spilling Tweek’s coffee in the process. 

Stan shifted his gaze to Kyle, who was laughing at Clyde’s shenanigans. Understanding came like a bolt out of the blue, and Stan finally realized what he had failed to see the whole time. It was true what people said, apparently. Sometimes people do fall in love under the most ridiculous circumstances. Kenny and Kyle were not a thing before. It all just started with Cartman’s stupid bets. 

Kenny’s attention was all on Kyle. His eyes embraced the redhead with just one look, and Stan couldn’t help but smile at the scene. Unaware of the admiration in the blonde’s face, Kyle turned to face Stan again. 

“Oooooooh!” Cartman whistled, and Kyle rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Cartman pushed his tray away from him to lean over the table and look at Craig better in the face. “You have competition, faggots!” 

“Insufferable fucker,” Tweek muttered and squeaked when Cartman hurled a half-eaten French fry at him. 

“I swear to God, Cartman,” Craig said, narrowing his eyes. “One day I’m going to-!” 

“Congrats, fellows,” Butters piped in, flashing them both a sincere smile. Cartman’s attention was back on Kyle and Kenny in an instant. 

“Are we going to see more finger sucking from you, Kahl?” Cartman asked mockingly. “Or is it going to be worse from now on? Right, guys?” he laughed. Kyle’s nostril flared. “Everybody knows that Kenny just can’t keep it in his pants. Craig, you should learn a thing or two from him. You’re such a boring asshole. Your handholding is as interesting as watching paint dry”. 

“Cartman,” Kyle growled, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. 

“What? You should be happy Kenny can pop a boner anywhere, anytime,” he said. 

“For the love of God,” Token groaned. “It’s not like Kenny can get turned on by anything!” 

“I bet he can,” Cartman said grinning and slammed his hands on the table like an overjoyed child. “Kyle! Kyle! Please, just look at him for five minutes! I’ll give you five bucks if he gets it up”. 

“Will you knock it off finally?” Kyle snapped. “You are such a-!” 

But Kyle’s insult died in his throat when Kenny crooked a finger under Kyle’s chin and pulled his friend towards him. Kyle furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and Kenny slightly moved his head to the side, as if wanted to kiss Kyle right then and there. 

“Guys, that’s why everybody hates you,” Token whispered rubbing his tired eyes with his hands. Butters shushed him, and Clyde turned to look at him in shock. Everyone fell silent again. The minutes ticked by, and Kenny did nothing more than stare at Kyle straight in the eyes. Neither of them moved, and things started to get seriously awkward. 

Stan was ready to intervene when, suddenly, Kenny shot up from his place. He grabbed Kyle’s ushanka and hid the front of his pants with it, and everyone’s mouth dropped to the floor. 

“C-Cartman,” Kenny said, voice cracking. “Just give Kyle the five bucks. I’ll be back in five minutes. Make it ten”. 

Kenny rushed out of the cafeteria. Clyde burst out laughing and fell with his back on the floor. He bit down a cussword, but then started laughing again, holding his hands on his stomach. Craig eyed him warily, then shook his head and pushed the tray away from him, muttering something about not being hungry anymore. Kyle, on the other hand, was glued to the spot and didn’t even look up when Cartman slid the five dollars under his nose. 

“I’m seriously, Kyle,” Cartman snickered, “This is never going to get boring”. 

“Fuck you,” Stan snapped hiding his face in his hands. “Fuck you”. 

Kyle managed to get his hat back only when school ended, but when Kenny said he preferred to see Kyle without it, Kyle shoved it into his backpack instead of putting in on. They walked in silence to the bus stop, low-key happy that Stan had a project to finish with Jimmy and Token and that Cartman had decided to hang out with Butters in the afternoon. They were free to talk. 

“Why the scene?” Kyle asked, scowling. Kenny snapped his attention to him in surprise. “Cut it out, Kenny, I know you were just acting,” Kyle continued before the other could say anything. 

Kenny laughed. 

“Butters told me that Mrs. Cartman threw a fit when she found out that her beloved son spent more than one hundred bucks on competitions, bets and whatnot,” Kenny confessed with a smirk. “Butters said she finally put her foot down and threatened to ground Cartman for a month if he as much dared to spend a cent more on trivialities. I couldn’t miss this chance, could I?” 

“So Cartman is not really hanging out with Butters,” Kyle said, snorting. “That fatass is probably avoiding his mum. Well, serves him right”. 

“He’s going to get it, anyway,” Kenny said. “Butters promised me he was going to spill the beans to Mrs. Cartman. Hopefully, she is going to keep her promise”. 

“I hope he learned his lesson and won’t try to bet you into something stupid again,” Kyle said. 

“You know how that dickhead is…” Kenny trailed off, and Kyle heaved out a sigh. They kept walking until they reached the bus stop, when finally Kyle broke the silence again. 

“I can’t believe the guys thought we were together,” Kyle said. 

“Me neither,” Kenny said, turning to face Kyle head on. “But they are not wrong anymore, are they?” he asked, a soft smile appearing on his face. Kyle snorted in amusement and unconsciously took a step closer to where Kenny was standing. 

“Apparently no,” Kyle said in a calm tone of voice. The blond beamed, and Kyle felt the corner of his lips quirk upwards against his will. 

“Don’t take it bad that I didn’t pop a boner before. Just so you know, you do turn me on,” Kenny teased him. 

“You’re so stupid,” Kyle said, looking at him with fondness. Kenny’s teasing smirk turned into a sincere smile, and Kyle felt like melting. He wanted to do something with his hands, but he didn’t know what. Now that no one was daring them to do something, Kyle felt unable to initiate contact, despite how much he wanted to. It was Kenny who did the first step, cupping his face and running his thumbs over Kyle’s cheekbones. Kyle had no idea how they got to this, why he didn’t mind Kenny’s hands on him anymore. 

“How did we ever get to this?” Kyle asked, because he’s never been someone who kept his thoughts for himself. “Stan freaked out, didn’t he? He’s such a hypocrite sometimes. Did we really flirt with our eyes back then?” 

“Actually, you’re still doing it,” Kenny said amused, shutting Kyle up. The blond laughed at Kyle’s shocked expression and let out a yelp of surprise when Kyle suddenly put his hands on the base of his neck and crashed their mouths together. Not that Kenny was going to complain, anyway. 

Kenny had no idea how they got to this either, but when Kyle willingly opened his mouth and kissed him harder, he wondered why they hadn’t tried it out sooner. He realized that kissing Kyle was like getting high. Once you start, it’s difficult to stop. 

“Hey,” Kenny breathed suddenly, “I didn’t thank you for the one hundred bucks”. 

“Considering all the bets I had to go through for you, I got you 150 bucks at least, plus a place in the girl’s stupid list,” Kyle said, making Kenny snort. 

“This is going to be the best Christmas ever,” Kenny said. 

“Whatever makes you happy”. 

“You know what would make it even better?” Kenny asked, leaning in and pressing his lips on the corner of Kyle’s mouth. 

“Don’t say sex, because I’m going to kill you,” Kyle said. Kenny laughed against Kyle’s skin. 

“That would work too, but I was thinking about the meteor shower on New Year’s Eve,” Kenny said, and Kyle moved his head back in shock. 

“Are you kidding me?” Kyle asked, surprised, but when he saw how serious Kenny was being about it, Kyle relaxed and wrapped his arms around the other’s waist. “Why do I have a feeling I've already heard it before?” 

“Because I already asked you once, and like most of the things we’ve done together so far it didn’t work out. I think it’s going to be awesome this time around,” Kenny said. “I can always ask Bebe to join me, if you have other plans”. 

“ _No!_ ” Kyle croaked. “I mean. Yes, why not. Let’s go watch the meteor shower together”. 

As Kenny expected, Christmas turned out to be simply awesome and the fact it was Cartman who practically paid for everything made it even better. Karen being happy for her Christmas present and all of them going to bed with their stomachs full were just the icing on the cake. 

He had no idea what New Years’ Eve would bring him, but besides the meteor shower, he sure didn’t expect this. 

Neither of them knew exactly how the fell on Kyle’s bedroom floor, sheets tangled around their legs, panting and staring at the ceiling with eyes full with wonder. Kyle was glad that his parents were still out partying and that Ike was spending his night his new girlfriend, otherwise he wouldn’t know how to explain the situation to them. 

“Wow,” Kenny muttered besides him. “Why did we wait so long?” 

Kyle didn’t know how to respond to that. 

“I bet we could really go at it for six hours,” Kenny said, breaking the silence once more. 

“No more bets,” Kyle groaned rubbing his face with his hands. “I swear, Kenny. I don’t even want to hear that word anymore!” 

“I was joking, dude,” Kenny said, laughing. He turned his head to fully enjoy the exasperated look on the other’s face. “You’re so sensi-!” 

Kenny did not complain when Kyle shut him up with a kiss. 

One million bucks he wasn’t going to get bored with it any time soon. Oh, God. He was going to get rich.


End file.
